The Sound of Your Name
by Simoun Sibylla
Summary: What was Leo like as a kid? How did he end up being Soldier Blue's aide? Why does he wear that cord on his head? And what's a boy on the Shangri-la to do when he falls in love with another boy? Primarily a Leo/Cid story, but with tons of Blue. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

_**The Sound of Your Name**_

By Simoun Sibylla

Disclaimer: _Toward the Terra _and all its characters belong to Keiko Takemiya. I only borrow them for fun and no profit.

Note: This story is set before Jomy is even born. It's all about Leo, Cid, and Blue. Cid was a minor character in the _Terra _anime, but he's originally a main character from a different manga by Takemiya. My characterization of him is drawn from what little there was of him in the anime, plus the various manga short stories in the _Satsui no Soko_ anthology. Manga!Cid is pretty awesome.

Warnings: Fluff. Cheese. More fluff. Coming of age angst. Slash, eventually.

Special thanks go to hang_nga for betaing! All mistakes are my own, however.

Feedback is always appreciated!

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_Soldier, the rescue pod will be landing in five minutes._

Blue looked up from the report he had been reading. _Ah, thank you, Harley. I'll be there in a moment._

He stared at the document for a few seconds longer, then set it aside. He rose to his feet, feeling a stiffness in his back from sitting at his desk for too long. With a sigh, he stretched his arms over his head. A joint popped disconcertingly. He dropped his arms, then paused to tug at the hem of his jacket and adjust the folds of his blue cape. It was vanity, he knew, but he wanted to look his best when the newcomer arrived.

He met Harley in the corridor on the way to the hangar. "What do we know about this child?" Blue asked as the captain fell into step beside him.

"It's a boy," Harley replied. "Apparently, he is still too young for the adulthood exam."

"A boy," Blue echoed. "Well, that ought to even out the gender balance a bit." The Shangri-la's Rescue Section had been bringing back mostly girls from Ataraxia lately.

They reached the ship's hangar, where a sizable crowd had already gathered to meet the incoming aircraft. Blue could feel the nervous excitement in the air. Although the arrival of each new Mu was a momentous occasion and a right of passage for the newcomer, Blue knew it was also a reminder to the rest of the crew of the precarious position they still held, hidden among the clouds in this stolen ship.

Blue and Harley made their way to the front of the crowd to stand at the edge of the runway.

"This makes three rescues this month," Harley murmured as they waited. "God only knows how we've managed to get away with it."

"Divine intervention might be the very reason we've managed at all, Harley."

Harley snorted, and Blue smiled.

The bay doors slowly opened with a loud shuddering noise, and the crowd stirred as everyone peered into the white clouds beyond, looking for the rescue pod.

"Here they come," said Harley, and a moment later, a sleek aircraft touched down on the deck. Its wheels screeched over the runway as it slowed down and rolled into the hangar. The roar of its engine died out and the ship came to a stop in front of the anxiously waiting Mu.

Blue reached out telepathically into the aircraft. He brushed over the shielded minds of the adults on board and sought out the unguarded, open heart of the child they had rescued. But to his surprise, he found that the child already concealed his thoughts behind a crude mental barrier. The boy would surely notice if Blue intruded further, so he reigned in his curiosity and carefully backed off.

The doors of the aircraft opened with a loud hiss of depressurizing air. First exited the pilot, who then helped a red-haired woman out onto the tarmac. A collective gasp arose from the crowd of waiting Mu as they saw that she wore a bloody bandage on her forehead.

"I'm alright!" she called out with a grin, weakly waving a hand. "Just a few bumps and bruises!" She turned and looked back into the aircraft. "Come on, Leo. There's nothing to be afraid of out here. It's okay."

A tiny, blond head peered around the edge of the doorway. The woman laughed and stepped back, extending her hand. A small hand hesitatingly took hers. She gently tugged it forward, and at last the rescued boy appeared wide-eyed before the Mu. He wore a tattered, white t-shirt and loose, denim shorts. He appeared to be no older than six or seven.

No matter how many times he did it, each encounter with a new Mu filled Blue with such emotion that he thought his heart might burst. Joy, gratitude, sorrow, pride, love—the feelings rushed through him all at once, stirring 300 years of memories, but he knew by now how to stem the flow and keep the powerful thoughts from escaping the shield encasing his mind.

He was the Soldier. He could not fall to his knees and embrace the new child, promising him a safe, warm home. He could not weep with joy for another life saved, nor could he cry out at the unfairness of their collective fate that forced them to tear children from their families in order to protect them. All he could do was to become a pillar of strength, to guard this new child and all the Mu who would welcome the boy into their midst.

Blue smiled, projecting all the confidence and warmth he could muster. "Welcome back, Ina and Paolo," he told the rescue agent and the pilot as he stepped forward to greet them. He looked down at the boy. "And welcome to the Shangri-la, Leo." Behind him, the crowd burst into cheers and applause.

The boy hid behind Ina's legs, peering past her knees to look at the crowd.

"He's a bit of a shy one, Soldier," Ina warned.

"We thank you for your good work," Harley told Ina and the pilot. "But what happened?"

"We got into a bit of a tussle with some Humans as we fled the city," Ina explained, touching a hand to her head wound. "Luckily, Paolo was ready and waiting for us, so we got away with just a few scratches. The boy is unharmed."

"And the Humans?" asked Blue.

"I made sure none were left to follow us back here, sir," Paolo said.

Blue glanced at Harley, who bore a faint frown. An uncomfortable hush had settled over the hangar. Blue turned his gaze back to the boy and wondered at what price his rescue had come.

"Well, I expect you to submit a full report later," said Harley.

While Harley instructed Ina to go to sickbay for treatment, Blue felt the clumsy brush of the boy's telepathy against his own mind. Leo appeared to be instinctively scanning the area for hostile thoughts. Blue raised an eyebrow, impressed. The child's psionic abilities had to be rather well-developed for his age. If he already had such skills, though, it bordered on a miracle that the boy had escaped detection until now.

Blue narrowed his eyes and looked at the boy again with his telepathy as much as with his physical eyes. He could barely make out a faint glow around the child—his aura. For a heart-stopping moment he thought he saw a hint of blue, but then he realized it was actually a deep green. He pushed his disappointment away—it was always the Type Greens that teased him so.

Two medics approached to help Ina, and Leo backed away from them as they escorted her out of the hangar. The other Mu gathered in a circle around Leo, Blue, and the captain.

"My, what a cute boy!"

_This is your new home!_

"Leo, how old are you?"

_You'll like it here, Leo!_

Leo stood there silently, trembling ever so slightly as they said his name aloud and in their minds.

Suddenly Blue felt something wrap around his leg. Startled, he looked down and found Leo beneath his cape and clinging to his right knee. Blue attempted to extricate himself from Leo's grasp, but the boy simply latched onto his other leg. Blue reached around to pull back his cape, but the boy was standing on the hem. Blue paused, afraid he might tear his cape, then looked up to find everyone staring at him.

"Soldier," said Harley, clearing his throat. Blue could tell he was trying not to laugh.

Blue looked down at the boy awkwardly huddled beneath his cape. _Come, there's nothing to fear, _Blue told Leo. _We are all your friends here._

Leo stared up at him without saying a word.

After a moment, Blue realized he was not going to win this little standoff without resorting to extreme measures. With a sigh, he crouched down to the floor. Before Leo could fight back, Blue scooped him into his arms and securely settled him against one hip. The six-year-old was not light, and he could hear his back creak in protest at the unexpected burden, so he very subtly channeled his psionic power to give strength to his old body.

Harley stared at him with raised eyebrows. The corner of his mouth was twitching. Blue decided to ignore him.

He turned to the crowd. "Let's not overwhelm him all at once; there will plenty of time for us to get to know the newest member of our family."

Professor Hillman stepped forward, his arms open. "Soldier Blue, please allow me take him to the nursery so he can meet the other children." He reached for Leo, but Leo took one look at the bearded old man and threw his arms around Blue's neck. Hillman blinked at him for a moment, then lowered his arms. "He seems to have taken to you already," he observed with a chuckle.

Blue reached up to gently loosen the boy's choke-hold. _Leo, _he said. _Don't be silly. The nice professor is going to take you to a fun place with food and other children your age._

Leo pressed himself closer to Blue. _But I'm scared_, he said softly. His telepathy sounded clear and bright in Blue's head, like the chiming of a small bell.

Blue smiled._ There's nothing to be afraid of. You are safe here._

Leo buried his face against Blue's shoulder and said nothing more.

Blue looked up at Hillman. "Professor, it appears as though I will have to deliver your newest student myself."

Hillman's smile was half-hidden by his gray beard.. "As you wish, Soldier." He gestured for the Soldier to lead the way.

The crowd parted before them as Blue carried the boy out of the hangar with Hillman and Harley close behind.

oOoOoOo

"You don't think it was a trap?"

Blue had convened the Council of Elders to meet with the head of the Rescue Section in order to discuss the attack during Leo's rescue. This mission had been the first time in several years that a rescue agent had been ambushed at the rendezvous point with the rescue pod, and Blue couldn't shake his suspicion that this unexpected attack was more than an accident.

Harley appeared to agree with Blue, but Marta, who coordinated all infiltration and rescue missions as director of the Rescue Section, insisted that it was nothing more than bad luck.

"They ran into a small patrol unit out in the borderlands," said Marta, running a hand through her short, curly brown hair. "The patrol unit only managed to fire a few shots before Ina and the boy escaped. If it was an ambush, it was very poorly executed."

"I find it very strange that they just happened to be 'patrolling' in exactly the right place at exactly the right time, though," growled the chief engineer Zel. "They must have had advance notice!"

Marta bristled. "Our agents are experts. There was no way the Humans could have known."

"Perhaps they spotted the rescue pod and tracked it," suggested Brau, the dark-skinned chief navigator.

"Yae confirmed that the aircraft was perfectly functional," Captain Harley said. "There was no indication that its stealth devices were inoperative."

"Maybe they've learned how to detect us even with the stealth device on?" Ella wondered out loud. At her words, everyone fell silent and stared at the female historian.

Harley cleared his throat. "Well, the fact that they have not launched an all-out attack on the Shangri-la right now suggests that they can't find us yet."

"Those aren't very reassuring words, Captain," Brau responded.

Seeing the debate slowly degenerating, Blue spoke up. "Ambush or not, the incident means that Universal Control will crack down even harder on suspected Mu. It will surely become even more difficult for the Mu agents on the ground to protect themselves, let alone rescue anyone in the near future. We must take greater precautions."

"I'll have Yae examine the stealth devices on all our vessels, including the Shangri-la itself," said Harley.

"We'll keep the engine in tip-top shape, Soldier," Zel chimed in. He crossed his arms tightly across his chest and shook his bald head. "Never know when we might be forced to leave this planet, as we were driven from Altamira!"

Blue turned to Marta. "How many agents do we have down on the ground at present?"

"Only three, sir. Two more were scheduled to go out tomorrow, but we have delayed their deployment for now."

"It would be wise for us to avoid any activity in Ataraxia for at least the next three weeks," stated Harley. Marta nodded.

"Can't we bring the agents back to the ship?" asked Ella, worry creasing her face. "We can't just leave them down there!"

Marta pressed her lips into a thin line. "They are trained to conceal themselves and survive completely on their own. They know what the risks are when they accept their missions."

"But won't they be too much of a liability if Universal Control captures them?" Brau looked around the group. "We don't know what the Humans might do to them!" There was a murmur of agreement from the other Elders.

Blue knew he had to make a decision. If they were going to call back the three Mu agents still in Ataraxia, they would have to act swiftly. But any action at all would draw more attention to the Mu and risk exposing the Shangri-la to the Humans. He wasn't willing to take that risk—the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few.

"Tell the agents to go underground," Blue ordered, looking at each of his advisers to make sure they knew this was his final say on the matter. "The superior skills and training of the Rescue Section will be enough to protect them."

He hoped with all his heart that he was right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Cid had always been alone. There were few boys his age on the Shangri-la, and he had no one to play with. The older children teased him for his gray hair and dour look. He sometimes tried to join the younger Mu, but he always tired of their silly games long before they did. Preferring his own company over the awkwardness of the playgroup, he retreated into his own imaginary world where he could do anything he wanted.

He was in the midst of a grand make-believe adventure as a space pirate when he noticed an unfamiliar face among the children in the playroom. All thoughts of piracy fled from his mind as curiosity got the better of him. The stranger was wearing the standard, blue, boys' uniform, but Cid was certain he had never met this blond kid before. He watched two girls try to get the new kid to play with them, but the boy simply stood quietly, eyes to the ground. After a few minutes, the girls gave up and left him alone in the corner of the playroom.

When it appeared that no one else would make an attempt to talk to the new boy, Cid approached him with all the coolness of an eight-year-old space pirate and asked, "Hey, what's your name?"

The blond boy bit his lower lip and refused to answer.

Cid tried again. "I asked, what's your name?" He pointed to himself. "I'm Cid."

The boy still wouldn't even look up at him.

Cid started losing patience. "What's your name? Hey. Can you hear me?" When he got no response, he scornfully asked, "What's the matter, can't you talk?"

Suddenly two large hands settled on his shoulders. Cid tilted his head back and saw Professor Hillman leaning over him.

"Now, Cid, be nice—Leo here can't speak. He has no voice."

"No voice?"

"No. Just like some people have no hearing or no sight, he has no voice."

Cid gaped at the little boy standing before him. He tried to imagine what it would be like to not be able to speak at all, to be unable to shout or sing or yell. "But he can hear, right?"

Hillman nodded. "And they say you can speak telepathically, right, Leo?" Leo gave no response, but Hillman patted his head. "It's okay to be a little shy, though. Cid won't be upset if you don't answer him right away. Am I correct, Cid?"

Cid nodded, suddenly determined to get this boy to talk.

"Now, Cid, Leo, I trust you two will be friends?"

"Yes, professor!" replied Cid eagerly. He grabbed Leo's hand, and the young boy looked up at him at last.

"Good," Hillman said with a smile. "Good."

oOoOoOo

Cid tried every day to get Leo to talk. At first, he peppered him questions—what colors did he like, what was his favorite toy? But no matter what he said, Leo never responded with words—sometimes he didn't respond in any way at all. Yet Cid couldn't bring himself to leave Leo alone.

Sometimes Cid tried to speak with him telepathically, but even that did not work. Any time Cid entered the boy's mind, Leo shut his eyes and withdrew deep inside himself. Cid could not follow him; a flickering green mesh-like barrier always blocked his way. He could see Leo through the gaps, but he could not move beyond it.

They were usually in separate classes during the mornings, but in the afternoons Cid made sure to find Leo. Every day, Cid would tell him about all the new things he had learned in class, or who had played a prank on the teacher, or who was scolded for not doing their homework assignment. Leo was a captive audience. Cid could see how Leo listened to him, even if he didn't answer.

Delighted by even the tiniest response, Cid started to find excuses to share more of his things with his new friend. He loved how Leo's eyes lit up whenever Cid offered him a toy or part of his snack.

Whenever Cid ran out of things to say in his strange one-sided conversations with Leo, he would sit down beside Leo and sing for him. He quickly figured out that "Mary Had a Little Lamb" was Leo's favorite—whenever Cid began that song, Leo would stop whatever he was doing and stare earnestly at Cid. Soon, Leo even started clapping along. Cid was delighted.

Then one day, Leo presented Cid with a scribbled drawing of red flowers. Cid was so overjoyed that he threw his arms around the younger boy. It was the first time that any of the children had given him a gift.

The other children also tried to speak with Leo, and Cid sometimes saw them playing with him. Then he would observe Leo from a distance, just to make sure that no one was mean to the mute boy.

"You're a good big brother, Cid," Hillman told him one day.

"What's a big brother?"

Hillman chuckled. "An older boy who watches over a younger child in the same family. You're about two years older than Leo, and you take good care of him, so you're like a big brother to him."

Cid drew himself up to his full height, which brought him up to the middle of the professor's rotund stomach. He put his hands on his hips and beamed up at the old man. "That's right! I'm pretty big now."

Hillman patted him on the head. "I know," he responded, eyes sparkling.

oOoOoOo

One day, Cid returned from class and found that Leo and the other kids in his class were nowhere to be seen.

He approached one of the caretakers on duty and tugged at her skirt to get her attention. "Yes?" she inquired, looking down at him. "What do you need, Cid?"

"Where's Leo?" he demanded.

"Ah, Sheryl took him and some of the other kids out to the park for P.E. They're probably still out there."

Cid frowned. "Can I go, too?"

"If you promise to go straight there and not get lost along the way."

He jumped at the chance to go out on his own. "I promise! I know my way around!"

"Well, then, you may go, but be careful."

Cid nodded and raced out of the room, exulting in his unexpected freedom.

When he entered the park, he paused just past the great doors. He was tempted to try climbing one of the big trees in the park, since no one was there to yell at him, but then he remembered that he had come looking for Leo. He surveyed the area and spotted a group of children and some adults halfway across the park.

As he approached them, he raised his hand to wave and started to call out to them, but then he realized who the adults were. There was Sheryl, the teacher chaperoning the children, and next to her stood Soldier Blue himself. He was letting some of the kids playfully tug at his gloved hands. Behind him stood the tall, dark man everyone called "Captain." Cid quietly joined the group, somewhat in awe at seeing the Soldier and the Captain so close up.

Then Cid noticed that Leo wasn't among those eagerly crowding around the Soldier, trying to get closer to their hero. Instead, Leo stood a bit off to the side, almost hiding behind the teacher's legs.

The Soldier, too, seemed to notice. "Well, if it isn't Leo," he said. "No need to be shy." Blue freed himself from the other children and stepped forward to get closer to Leo.

"How's he doing?" Blue asked Sheryl.

"He seems to have settled in well enough, but he still doesn't speak at all, Soldier."

"Hmm. Is that so, Leo? You don't want to talk yet?"

Leo avoided the Soldier's gaze.

Blue smiled and put a hand on Leo's head, tousling his hair. "You spoke to me once, do you remember?" Leo made no response. "You have a beautiful voice. Someday you should share it with everyone else."

The Soldier then turned his attention back to the other children milling about his feet. "And the rest of you, are you all being nice to Leo?"

They responded with a loud chorus of "Yes, Soldier!"

Except for Cid. He remained silent.

"I'm glad to see all your voices are in fine working order," he observed dryly.

"Soldier," said the captain, indicating it was time for them to move on.

"Well, I must get back to work, children," said Blue. Ignoring their cries of disappointment, he nodded at the teacher, then proceeded to leave the park with Harley at his side.

Cid pushed his way through the group to reach Leo. "So you can talk," he said accusingly, standing before him.

Leo looked at him, head tilted slightly.

"Don't give me that look! The Soldier said you talked to him once!" he yelled and surprised himself with the loudness of his own voice. "Why won't you talk to me? Why can't I hear you?! I talk to you more than Soldier Blue does!"

Leo's lower lip trembled and he began to back away from Cid.

"Cid!" The teacher intervened. "Stop it. Why are you shouting at Leo?"

"He won't talk to me!"

She knelt down in the grass and put one arm around Cid and another around Leo. "Cid, you know that Leo can't talk."

Cid nodded, glaring at Leo.

"But, Leo, you do listen to everything Cid says to you, right?"

Leo pressed himself closer to the caretaker and nodded slightly.

"And you two are friends?"

Cid wanted to deny it, but then he mumbled, "Yeah."

The caretaker looked him in the eye. "Cid, friends don't shout at each other like that. If you're upset, you can talk about it calmly, and your friend will listen. Understand?"

Reluctantly, Cid nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"And, Leo, you know we would be happy to hear your voice, but we will wait until you want to talk." She gently nudged Leo and Cid closer together, then stood up, dusting bits of grass from her knees. "So no more fighting, you two, or I'll tell the Soldier!"

Cid looked down at the grass, feeling sheepish. When he glanced at Leo's pale, anxious face, though, he felt absolutely terrible, like he might be sick to his stomach.

_Sorry_, said Cid, trying very hard to keep his telepathy focused so that no one else would hear. _I didn't mean to yell at you. Don't be mad, okay?_

Silence stretched out between them, until finally Leo reached out and took Cid's hand. There was an earnest look on the younger boy's face, but a comforting warmth seemed to spread from him. Cid felt his heart beat faster. Leo was communicating in the only way he could—sharing his emotions telepathically, without even so much as the form of a word.

It was the first time Cid had ever felt him do that.

Unexpected happiness bubbled up inside Cid, and suddenly he found himself laughing.

And for a moment, he thought he heard someone else's voice laughing with him, but when he looked at Leo, the boy simply smiled at him in silence.

oOoOoOo

One afternoon, Cid dashed into the playroom, nearly bursting with excitement. He found Leo sitting at a table and charged over, slamming his hands flat on the tabletop.

Startled, Leo dropped the color pencil he had been using. He looked up from his drawing and made a displeased face at Cid, but Cid was too excited to care.

"Leo! Guess what? They said they're going to let me learn how to fly!" Cid exclaimed.

Leo tilted his head, as though asking for an explanation.

"They said that I'm old enough to start training in the sim—simu—simuwhatever," Cid told him. "And then when I'm big enough, I'll get to fly a real airplane! I'll get to be a real pilot, like I always dreamed!"

A smile broke across Leo's face. He quickly picked up his drawing and held it up to show Cid. It was a picture of a blue airplane, flying over a sea of purple blobs. On top of the plane stood a large blue-caped figure. Beside him stood two other stick figures: one with yellow hair and one with gray. Cid's eyes grew wide as he realized it was a picture of himself and Leo.

"That's right, Leo!" he cried out, delighted. "You can learn to fly, too, and then we'll fly together!" Giddiness seized him. He would become a pilot, and with Leo as his wingman, they would soar through the skies together. Their daring feats would earn the praise of even Soldier Blue. They would become the greatest pilots in the history of Mukind!

Leo opened his mouth as though he were laughing, though no sound came out.

Cid put a hand on Leo's shoulder. "As soon as I learn how to fly, I'll teach you how to do it, Leo." He figured it would take him a few weeks to get the hang of things, and maybe a few more weeks to grow tall enough to be allowed into an aircraft, but then he could start training Leo. "I'll even let you practice in my airplane!" he declared, confidently foreseeing his own greatness in the not-so-distant future.

_I would like that._

"Yeah, and then—" Cid stopped, suddenly aware that he had heard someone else's voice in his head. "Wait, Leo, did you say something?"

Leo blinked, as if he had surprised himself. _Did I?_

Cid's jaw dropped. "You can talk!" he exclaimed. He grabbed Leo's hands and pulled him from his seat. He began to dance around in a circle, exuberantly whirling Leo around with him.

_Cid! _said Leo, excitement clear in his voice.

Never had Cid been so happy to hear his own name. "Leo!" he shouted back, overjoyed. "You can talk! You talked to me! Leo can talk!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Yo, Leo."

_Hey, Cid._

Cid put his lunch tray down on the mess hall table and sat down across from Leo. "How was class?"

Leo smiled a little. _I beat my personal best on the flight sim._

Cid whistled appreciatively. "Nice. Any word when they're going to let you out of the box and out into the real sky?"

Leo took a bite of his sandwich. _If I do well on my next test, I might get to start training in actual aircraft._

Cid arched his brows. "And when's the test?"

_In two weeks._

Cid grinned. "Good luck. You'll show 'em. I know it."

_Thanks, Cid._

Cid leaned back in his chair and gazed at Leo. "You know, at this rate it won't be long until you're flying with me."

Cid's praise made his face grow warm. _I still have to finish high school, y'know, _he reminded his friend.

"Yeah, but that'll be easy. Look at you."

Leo laughed, embarrassed. _So, how's life in the squadron? _he inquired, trying to shift the attention away from himself.

Cid sighed. "They hardly let me do anything, but sometimes they let me fly co-pilot on a patrol or something. Everyone still calls me 'kid', though. I'm a year out of school and they still treat me like some little brat."

Leo laughed again, but with amusement now.

"It's not funny!"

_Sorry._. For all of Cid's big talk, he was still just a novice pilot. _At least you get to fly, though, _he added with mild envy. Leo was growing tired of practicing in virtual reality in the classroom. He wanted to get in a real aircraft to hear the roar of the engine and to see the endless sky open up before him. He wanted to be out there, the way Cid was. He wouldn't mind being called "kid" as long as they let him actually fly an aircraft now and then.

Cid's expression softened a little. "You'll get your chance soon." He leaned forward and looked Leo in the eye. "And then you can try to catch up with me, kid!"

oOoOoOo

As Cid had predicted, Leo passed the necessary tests and began actual flight training. He loved every minute he spent in flight, and spent long hours getting tips and advice from Cid. With only a few more months left until Leo would complete the compulsory education required of all Mu children, it seemed like everything was set for Leo to join the ranks of the Shangri-la's pilots.

When the time came for him to apply for an apprentice position in one of the ship's many sections, though, Leo began to have doubts about the path he had pursued until now. His teachers urged him to go work in Defense, as he had an innate talent for channeling his energy into a protective shield. Some upperclassmen he knew in Communications actively recruited him, saying that no one would have better endurance for telepathic communication than Leo, who was unable to speak normally. But his classmates from his flight training courses told him he would be betraying their tiny, close-knit group if he went anywhere but to the fighter squadrons.

So Leo dutifully visited different sections with the rest of his class to see where he might want to work, but he still could not make up his mind. He simply couldn't really picture himself working anywhere—even in the aircraft hangar. It all seemed too distant, too unreal. He didn't think he was cut out for any job on board the Shangri-la.

He tried to talk to Cid about his problems, but Cid didn't seem to understand why he was having such a hard time choosing his future career.

"You always wanted to fly, didn't you?" Cid would ask. "Why waste your time stuck in a chair at someplace like Defense when you can be out there, actually doing something?"

It was true. As long as he could remember, he had been fascinated by all things that could fly. He had vague memories of getting in trouble with his Human foster parents for making his toy airplane fly around the house. He also remembered that he had agreed to follow the Mu who had rescued him from the Humans only after she promised him that he would get to ride in an airplane with her.

But the doubts still lingered. He wasn't so sure that becoming a pilot simply because he liked airplanes was the best route to take.

Late one afternoon in the midst of this period of confusion, Leo was returning to his room after a long day of classes when he spotted a rare figure coming down the hall—Soldier Blue. Clutching his textbook to his chest, Leo nervously moved to the side of the corridor as the Soldier strode towards him. It wasn't every day that he got to see the leader of the Mu so close.

_Good evening, Soldier_, he said politely as they passed each other.

Blue acknowledged him with a slight nod as he breezed past him, but then the sound of his boots on the hard floor came to a stop. _Leo?_

Leo turned back and found the Soldier looking at him. _Yes, sir?_

Blue's face brightened. "Ah, it is you!" He closed the distance between them. "You've grown a lot," he observed, looking Leo up and down. "You're still in school? When do you graduate?"

_In a month, I hope, Soldier, _replied Leo, trying not to show how uncomfortable he was beneath the Soldier's intent gaze.

But Blue seemed pleased. "Do you know what you want to do after that? What course are you enrolled in now?"

_I'm in Flight now, sir._

"A future pilot, then! Excellent. We can certainly use more pilots."

Leo looked down at his feet. _I don't know if I can be one, though._

"Why do you say that?"

_I might not be good enough, _admitted Leo hesitantly. _Plus, people keep telling me I would be really good in Defense or in Communications or somewhere else. Everyone keeps telling me something different, and I'd like to try something new, but I still like flying. _The words spilled from him automatically; he hadn't voiced these thoughts to anyone until now. _I just don't want to disappoint anyone by picking the wrong thing._

"So you're not sure yet what path you want to pursue," Blue summed up for him.

Leo nodded, still keeping his eyes averted. He was embarrassed to have spilled out his feelings to the Soldier like this.

Suddenly a gloved hand touched his face. Blue gently tilted up Leo's chin to meet his eyes. "There is nothing to be ashamed of, Leo. A little confusion is normal." With a smile, he added telepathically,_ We all waver in our steps sometimes. _The Soldier's voice seemed to fill Leo's head completely, driving out all self-doubt.

_Even you, Soldier? _Leo asked, but then immediately regretted the question. Surely the all-powerful leader of the Mu did not suffer from the pitiful lack of confidence that plagued Leo.

Blue dropped his hand yet kept his gaze steadily fixed on Leo. The Soldier's expression was unreadable. Leo grew even more nervous. Just when Leo was about to apologize for his impudence, Blue's mouth shifted into a wry smile.

_Sometimes, even the Soldier has doubts,_ he admitted. Then, with a swirl of his blue cape, the Soldier turned to go. "Leo," he said, without looking back.

_Yes, Soldier?_

"If you haven't made up your mind in a month, come see me."

_Sir?_

But no further explanation was forthcoming. The Soldier was already walking away.

oOoOoOo

School ended, yet Leo did nothing. One by one, his classmates assumed their new positions, until Leo became the only one who did not have any official work duties yet.

Not knowing where else he could turn, Leo finally asked for an audience with Soldier Blue. To his surprise, his request was granted almost immediately and he was summoned to the Blue Room that same evening.

Leo entered the Soldier's residence with great trepidation. He had never been to this part of the ship before. He worried about bothering the Soldier during his private time; he did not want to be a nuisance. Compared to the Soldier's concerns, Leo's personal problems probably seemed trivial.

But now he was here, and it was too late to turn back.

He took a small elevator up one floor and arrived on a large, elevated platform. Several narrow pathways curve elegantly into the darkness. The air had a strange consistency—it was cooler in here than in the rest of the ship. There was little lighting, save for the glow of spherical lamps around a curtained bed off to the right and the bright light of a lamp on top of a desk located down a narrower path to his left.

The Soldier sat at the desk, staring at his computer. "Come," he said without looking up from the screen.

Leo hesitantly did as he was ordered and followed the downward sloping path until he reached the Soldier's desk. He waited silently for Blue to finish his task.

After a minute, Blue looked up from his monitor. His red eyes glinted in the lamplight. "What is it?"

_I apologize for disturbing you, Soldier, but...but you said that if I had not made up my mind about my career options... _He trailed off, suddenly afraid that Blue wouldn't remember his offer, or even if he did, that he had made it in jest.

Blue gave Leo a tired smile. "I remember."

Leo took a deep breath. _I come to ask your advice, then._

Blue folded his hands on the desk. "Well, tell me, what is it that you want to do with your life?"

Leo felt taken aback by the question. _I...I don't know yet...I trained to be a pilot, so..._

Blue waved his hand dismissively. "No, I mean, what is your purpose in life? You're how old now—twelve, thirteen?"

_Thirteen, sir. Almost fourteen._

"You have many decades, if not centuries, ahead of you still. What do you intend to do with that time?"

_I'm not sure I understand, Soldier._

Blue reached for the lamp and turned it off. In the unexpected darkness, Leo couldn't see the Soldier so much as feel his presence until his eyes adjusted.

"Look up, Leo."

Confused, Leo tilted his head back. Far above him, a faintly glowing blue-white orb hung suspended in the blackness. He stared at it and realized it was rotating slowly, with shapes like white clouds moving across its surface. It looked like a small planet, floating in space.

Recognition struck him, and he gasped. _Terra?_

Blue stood up from his chair. "My purpose for many, many years has been to find that planet, to bring us back to our original home. That is all that I want to accomplish, and from this goal flow all my other actions." He began to walk up to the main platform, the click of his boots echoing in the vast hall.

Leo tore his eyes from the holographic model of Terra and hurried after him.

"I keep that image of Terra up there," Blue continued, "so that I never lose sight of my goal, no matter how distant or impossible it seems."

They came to a halt, and Leo realized the small Terra was now directly overhead from where they stood.

"Leo," said the Soldier, turning his red eyes to the boy, "around what goal will you focus your life?"

Leo felt a lump in his throat. _Soldier, I...I... _He paused, trying to gather his thoughts, but they failed to come together and he blurted out, _I want to help people. _Realizing how foolish that sounded, he tried to explain, _I could protect everyone if I worked for Defense,_ _but I would be happiest if I could keep flying. _Cid would be happier, too, if Leo joined him as a pilot, and for some reason, Leo felt that he would be happy as long as Cid was happy. This twist in his train of thought threw him off, and he found himself completely unable to express himself clearly. _I don't want to make anyone unhappy by choosing the wrong thing—_

"Leo," Blue interrupted.

_S-Soldier?_

"Until you reach your final decision—whatever and whenever that may be—why don't you work for me?"

His words caught Leo completely off guard. _What?_

Blue chuckled. "Be my personal assistant, at least until you find your true path." He raised his hands in a helpless shrug. "The assistant I had before finally figured out what she wanted to do with her life and moved on, but I'm as busy as ever, so I could use your help."

_But—I don't know anything—_

"Then you will learn much."

Leo stared at Blue. The prospect of such a daunting task was a bit much to take in.

"It would make this old man very happy, Leo," suggested Blue with a smile, and Leo knew he could not refuse.

And it dawned on him that no one would blame him if he chose to serve the Soldier. Surely even Cid would understand.

Heart racing, Leo gathered his courage and nodded. _As you wish, Soldier Blue!_

* * *

Author's note: From the anime, it seems like young Mu work alongside the adults—like Ruri on the bridge as a mere girl, or Shawn flying with Cid. I imagine that they must finish school early, depending on how fast they can get through the curriculum. For all I know, Leo might actually be a bit slow, finishing at thirteen...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Sitting in the grass with his back against a tree, Cid sensed Leo's presence the moment he entered the park, but he feigned nonchalance until his friend had come within a few feet of him.

_Cid_.

"Oh, hey, Leo," he replied, looking up as though he'd only just notice Leo.

_You been waiting long?_

"No," he lied.

Leo sat down beside him on the grass and stretched his long legs out in front of him. _How are you?_

"Fine. How's work?"

_Good! I'm learning a lot, even though I'm just following the Soldier around. It's kinda fun._

"Flying is fun, too, you know," said Cid, "You should try it sometime." He couldn't help feeling a little bitter whenever Leo spoke of his time with Soldier Blue.

Leo didn't say anything for a moment, but then he asked, _What did you want to talk about?_

Cid hesitated. He had news, but he was afraid to share it, for fear of jinxing himself. Nervously, he started plucking blades of grass from the lawn, but then he stilled his hand and took a deep breath. "You know, Ross, my supervisor? He said that he's going to recommend me for extra flight training." He cast a sidelong glance at Leo to gauge his reaction. "He wants me to learn how to fly the Shangri-la."

Leo's jaw dropped. _The Shangri-la?_

"Yeah." He couldn't hide the small, satisfied smile that crept to his lips.

_That's amazing, Cid! _Leo beamed. _That means you could work on the bridge someday!_

"Yeah, well, it's just a start," he said, tearing up bits of grass again.

Leo lay back in the grass, arms outstretched beside him. _Cid Johan, helmsman of the Shangri-la, _he murmured with evident awe. _Sounds pretty good to me! _

Cid ripped up a fistful of grass and threw it at Leo. "I haven't even started training and you're already promoting me?" he laughed.

Leo dusted the bits of grass from his stomach. _I know you're going to be amazing, that's all._

Cidlooked down at Leo. Cid had his own ambitions, but he had goals for Leo, too. But he was starting to fear the day would never come when Leo showed up at the aircraft hangar where Cid now worked.

"Have you really given up on becoming a pilot?" wondered Cid.

Leo's face clouded. _I don't know. _He looked away. _I haven't decided yet. _

It was the same vague answer as always, and it irritated Cid.

"I hardly see you now that you're working for the Soldier all the time," he complained. "You don't even practice flying anymore! You haven't flown in over a year, not even on a sim!" Abruptly he realized he had said too much. "Not that I check the logs for your name or anything," he added, backpedaling. "It's just what I hear from people. You know."

Leo looked back at him skeptically.

"D'you remember, when we were kids," continued Cid hastily, "we vowed that we'd fly together and become the best pilots in the universe?"

A gentle smile came to Leo's lips. _We did always pretend that we were flying. We'd run around like crazy until someone yelled at us to stop._

The memory made Cid smile in spite of himself. "Remember that one time we accidentally ran into the captain and knocked him over?"

_A casualty of battle, _Leo responded matter-of-factly.

"Both of us were grounded for a week!"

_Even though it was totally your fault, not mine._

"My fault? You're the one that chased me down that hallway!"

_Really? I'm pretty sure you started it. _Leo picked up a blade of grass still clinging to his shirt and flicked it at Cid. _I was just defending myself._

Abruptly realizing that Leo's version of the story was probably right, Cid reddened, and then they both burst out laughing.

But when Cid looked back down at Leo, sprawled in the grass beside him, his laughter faded. Something felt so tight in his chest, it was almost painful.

He wanted to be together with Leo like this all the time, happy and laughing—the way they used to be.

"I miss you, Leo," said Cid, almost unthinkingly. He pulled his legs up and draped his arms across his knees. "Maybe it's because we were always together as kids, but I thought that once you got out of school, things would be like the old days—you, me, in the same place, doing the same things, together."

_But we're not the same person, Cid. We can't do the same thing all the time._

"I know that. I'm not stupid." He lowered his chin to rest on his forearm. "But when I think that we might not ever be together like that again, I feel really...weird," he mumbled, failing to find words that could describe how he felt.

The grass rustled as Leo shifted.

_I miss you, too, you know._

Cid turned his head slightly and found Leo sitting up now, close beside him.

"But it's more than that," he tried to explain. "It's like—it's like I can't even calm down if you're not around!"

_I'm right here, but you're still not calm_, observed Leo, his amber eyes peering straight at Cid.

"That's because you're in my face," Cid retorted, but he deliberately did not avert his eyes from Leo's gaze.

But at Cid's words, Leo backed off slightly, a flicker of confusion crossing his face. _You want me to leave you alone? _

For a moment, he looked just like the scared kid Cid had taken under his wing many years ago.

The ache in Cid's chest intensified. He wanted to reach out and pull Leo close, to keep him from going anywhere—to keep him even from Soldier Blue. But instead he merely dug his fingers helplessly into the grass. In as cool a tone as he could muster, he answered, "No. Don't go."

Leo gently placed a warm hand over Cid's in the grass. _Then I'll stay._

His smile only made Cid's heart hurt even more.

oOoOoOo

Even without Leo around, Cid generally enjoyed his work as an apprentice pilot. The mundane tasks the more experienced pilots made him do were opportunities to prove himself, and so he tackled every assignment with a systematic diligence. Everything he did brought him one step closer to his dream of becoming a renowned pilot.

But one day, something distracted him during a routine inspection of a shuttle in the hangar. He turned around in time to see a young, blond man walk in through the doorway. Cid blinked twice, half-convinced he must be hallucinating from too much coffee this early in the morning.

But his sixth sense was right: Leo had just arrived in the hangar.

_Leo Zielinski reporting for duty!_

There was no mistaking that voice, but Cid still thought he must have misheard. Leo didn't work here; Leo worked for Soldier Blue.

"Ah, welcome!" said Commander Ross, the leader of Cid's squadron, as he strode forward to greet Leo. "Ready for your first day?"

_Yes, sir. I'm happy to be here._

"Well, I hope you still know your way around the place."

_I'll manage._

"You may be doing this part-time, but I expect you to treat this as seriously as if you were here full-time. This ain't high school anymore, kid! You have to earn your wings!"

_Yes, sir. I understand._

Ross turned and called out, "Cid! Take Leo with you when we fly out this morning! Show him the ropes."

Cid responded automatically, "Aye, sir!

Ross turned back to Leo. "Now get to work," he ordered, slapping him on the shoulder as he walked away.

Leo and Cid stared at each other for a moment, until Leo approached Cid with a nervous half-smile on his face. _Morning, Cid._

Cid struggled to find his tongue. "Morning, Leo," he managed. _Did I hear right? You're actually working here? _he asked telepathically so that no one would overhear. Ross hated useless chatter.

Leo smiled. _Surprised?_

_Just a little, _he walked around to the other side of the shuttle to finish his inspection. Leo trailed after him. _What about the Soldier? _asked Cid.

_I'm still his assistant; he's just letting me do this part-time._

Cid ran a hand over the edge of the wing of the aircraft, looking for any dents or scuffs. _What brought that on?_

_I asked him if I could do it, that's all. You were right—I shouldn't give up flying completely._

A flash of victorious joy passed through Cid. He had known Leo would join him someday. It was inevitable—it had just taken longer than Cid expected.

They wrapped up the pre-flight inspection, and then boarded the small shuttle. Cid took the pilot's seat while Leo strapped into the co-pilot's chair beside him.

"So every morning we do a routine patrol around the ship," Cid explained. "Nothing ever changes out there, but you never know. Mostly it's just to make sure the aircraft and the Shangri-la are in good shape—which is why they let me fly my own shuttle, I guess. It's nothing serious."

Leo smiled. _This'll be the first time I fly with you._

Cid gazed at him, then turned away. "Yeah," he mumbled in response, unnerved by the significance of the moment. Through the windshield, he could see the other aircraft lined up in front of his vessel, all waiting for permission to take off. His hands gripped the controls, and he wondered when he had last felt his pulse race so fast before an ordinary patrol.

_You look pretty cool, sitting there all intent like that, _Leo laughed softly._ Just what I'd expect from ace pilot Cid Johan!_

Cid shot Leo a glare. "You sure talk a lot for a newbie co-pilot," he grumbled, even though the compliment delighted him.

_I'm not making a sound, _insisted Leo, pointing at his mouth, which was closed. He was mute, after all.

Cid narrowed his eyes, then turned back to his controls, shaking his head. "Well, you can shut up anyway."

_Aye aye, sir, _said Leo cheerfully. _Shutting up now, sir!_

Cid snorted, trying not to laugh.

He had never been happier.

oOoOoOo

Although Leo spent half his day doing whatever it was he did for the Soldier, he usually came to the hangar every morning. Seeing Leo every day at work was wonderful, and Cid hoped the novelty would never wear off.

Cid's eyes often tracked Leo's movements around the hangar, watching him interact with the other crew members. The shy boy who refused to speak to anyone was completely gone, and in his place was a hard-working young man at ease with his surroundings. It gave Cid a measure of pride—he felt like he was at least partially responsible for Leo's growth.

Every so often, Leo would look up from whatever he was doing and catch Cid's gaze. Leo would smile, as if in acknowledgment of how nice it was for them to be sharing the same time and place again. Cid would smile back, but then make sure Leo didn't catch him watching him for the rest of the day. Cid told himself he was trying to avoid distracting Leo from his work, but deep down he knew he was only trying to control his own desire to stare after Leo all day long. Having Leo near him on a daily basis was more wonderful than he could ever admit to his friend, and if anyone was being distracted, it was Cid.

One morning, Cid sat across from Leo at a table in a conference room just off of the hangar. They were both typing up flight reports for Ross, but Cid was having trouble working—he could feel Leo's eyes on him, no matter how hard he tried to ignore him. Leo quickly lowered his eyes whenever Cid looked up, though.

When he caught Leo staring at him for the third time in half an hour, he finally had enough. _Stop it. You're distracting me, _complained Cid.

Leo's face was a model of innocence. _What? I'm not even doing anything._

Cid glared at him, then pointedly returned his attention to his writing. He wanted to get this report done before the lunch break.

But after a few minutes, he again felt like someone was drilling holes into his head with their piercing gaze. Exasperated, he nearly stood up, ready to yell at Leo, but to his surprise, Leo appeared to be completely engrossed in his own work. Feeling rather sheepish, Cid settled back down and watched Leo's fingers tapping over the keyboard of his computer. He had such long, slender fingers.

"Cid! Are you done with your report, or are you asleep with your eyes open?"

Cid jumped in his seat, startled by the booming voice of Ross, who had stuck his head into the room to check on their progress.

"Um, no, sir," he stammered. "Not done yet. And not sleeping. Sir."

"Then get back to writing, kid!" growled the commander.

Cid gritted his teeth at the sound of the hated nickname, but he nodded and pretended to be typing furiously until Ross left the room. As soon as the commander was gone, though, Cid leaned back in his seat and sighed loudly.

Leo looked up at him. _What's wrong?_

_You. _He crossed his arms across his chest. _I can't work with you right there._

_What am I doing?_

_I don't know, but it's stressing me out._

Leo raised an eyebrow. _I thought you said you couldn't relax unless I was around?_

Cid scowled. _I never said anything that stupid._

Leo laughed. _Liar._

Cid leaped to his feet and started to reach across the table for Leo to show him who the real liar was, but then he heard that terrifying voice call his name again.

_Cid Johan! Do I need to separate you and Leo?_ It was Ross, shouting directly into his head. Judging from Leo's equally startled expression, Ross had let everyone in the hangar hear his reprimand.

Red-faced, Cid flung himself back into his chair. _No, sir! _he replied.

On the other side of the table, Leo grinned at him. _Get back to work, kid._

That was the moment Cid realized Leo had finally caught up with him.

* * *

Author's note: Leo doesn't have a last name listed anywhere, so I gave him a nice Polish one that seemed appropriate. I'm not sure if it came across well, but I wanted to show how Cid and Leo are starting to see each other as equals—though they're both still a little childish when they're together. :)

Next chapter: things get slashy and the rating of this story goes up to M!


	5. Chapter 5

**Caution: there will be explicit male slash starting with this chapter!**

**Chapter 5**

"Ah, Leo, I should let you go—you've had a long day and I've kept you late enough as it is."

_I'm fine, Soldier Blue. Anything else I can do for you?_

The Soldier leaned back in his chair at his desk and closed his eyes. "It would be great if you could get rid of this headache for me," he muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Leo looked at him, a little worried. The Soldier had spent all afternoon and evening in a meeting with the Elders, and then he had stared forlornly at his computer for several hours. Leo knew something serious had to be weighing on his mind, but it was not his place to ask. He wished he could do something to help. He had already fetched Blue some painkillers from the doctor, but the medicine didn't seem to be working.

_Maybe it would help if you removed your headphones? _Leo suggested. The large hearing aid always looked so heavy and tight on Blue's head. Leo wondered why Blue didn't use a smaller model, like the compact earphones Captain Harley wore.

Blue raised a hand to his headphones, as if he had forgotten that they were there, but then he pulled the hearing aid off his head in one smooth movement. _ I keep forgetting that I don't need these around you_, said Blue as he ran a hand through his silver hair. He leaned back in his chair and dangled the headphones from one outstretched hand.

A little awed at the sight of Soldier without the headphones holding his hair back, Leo gingerly took the hearing aid. It was lighter than he expected, but he could see small scuffs and scratches across the surface. Perhaps the headset was an antique model; he wouldn't be surprised if it were over a hundred years old.

_Ah, the silence,_ Blue murmured, folding his hands across his stomach and closing his eyes. _Just set the headphones by the bed for now, Leo._

_Yes, Soldier. _He turned and carefully carried the headphones over to the Soldier's bed. There he pushed a button on the headboard, and a small nightstand rose up out of the floor. Leo placed the headphones on top of it reverently.

He glanced over his shoulder—Blue was still seated at his desk, leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed.

Leo looked back down at the headphones and, after a moment's hesitation, reverently ran his fingertips over them.

oOoOoOo

When Leo saw Blue the next day, the Soldier seemed to be feeling better. Leo set about making green tea for Blue—it was the Soldier's favorite drink—and then went to return some ancient, paper books to the ship's library. Leo picked up two more books Blue had requested, then made his way back to the Blue Room.

He wondered what Cid was doing right now. If Blue let Leo go at his normal time, he might still be able to catch Cid in the mess hall at dinner. Smiling, Leo picked up his pace.

When Leo handed Blue the books, the Soldier gave him a quizzical look. "You brought back one I asked you to drop off, Leo."

_What? _Leo looked down at the book. _Oh no. I'm sorry, I'll return it at once!_

"You've been a bit spacey lately," Blue observed with a teasing smile. "Are you sure you're not in love or anything?"

_What do you mean, "in love"? _asked Leo, puzzled.

Blue chuckled and squeezed Leo's shoulder. "Ah, well, being in love is when you keep thinking about one special person, wondering when you'll see them again and hoping it's soon because you feel so much better when you're with them. Or when you wish you could spend all your time with that person because you never tire of their company."

Leo frowned up at Blue, still wondering what this had to do with the library books and forgetfulness.

"Or maybe you're worried about them, wondering if they're okay, because all you want is for them to be happy," continued Blue. "You want to be as close to them as possible, to help them in the smallest possible way, and the thought of not being there with them hurts you more than anything else." Blue held out his hands, as if to encompass all the emotions he had just described. "When you feel all of that together, all at once, for one person, you're probably in love with them." He smiled and clasped his hands behind his back, apparently pleased by his own impromptu lecture.

But Leo still had no clue what Blue was trying to tell him. There was only one conclusion he could come up with: _So that means I'm in love with you, Soldier Blue?_

Blue's eyes widened, but then he threw back his head and laughed. He placed his palms on Leo's shoulders. "Oh, Leo," he said, grinning, "you must know that there are many different kinds of love."

Leo couldn't shake the feeling that Blue was making fun of him, though he still wasn't entirely sure what they were talking about. _There are? _he asked reflexively.

Blue nodded sagely. "You can love someone as a friend, but you can also love someone as much more than a friend. And that's when it gets really interesting." His eyes glinted with amusement. "But you're a young man—you'll figure all that out for yourself soon enough, if your current behavior is any indication."

_So you're saying that I love you as a friend, Soldier?_

Blue's face softened. He shook his head and drew Leo into a hug. Startled, Leo let himself be pulled against the Soldier's chest.

"No, Leo, there's another type of love entirely," the Soldier said. Blue's hair tickled his face and the his headphones pressed a little uncomfortably against the side of Leo's head, but there was a familiar, nostalgic warmth in the arms that encircled him.

_What kind of love would that be?_

"This," said the Soldier. "This is what the love of a family feels like."

oOoOoOo

Leo spent a long time thinking about his strange conversation with Soldier Blue. He wanted to ask Blue more about love, and all the different kinds of love, and how one could go about distinguishing among all those types of love, when Leo brought up the topic again, Blue proceeded to wax poetic about the mysteries of romance until Leo decided that it would be best not to discuss the matter with the Soldier if he ever wanted to be let off work on time.

Fortunately, he had someone else to talk to: Ina, the woman who had rescued him from Ataraxia nearly a decade ago. As an active agent for the Rescue Section, she spent most of her time in Ataraxia tracking possible Mu children, but whenever she returned to the ship, she always made time to see Leo.

When he was nine, he had asked her why she always came to visit him. Ina had patted his head and said, "Because you're the cutest!" Her smile made him think that was the best reason in the world.

Ina was busy getting ready to leave the ship again for another mission, but she somehow found the time to meet Leo for lunch in the mess hall. They sat off in a relatively quiet corner at a small table for two and chatted a while before Leo finally managed to say, _So, um, I've been thinking about love a lot lately._

Ina quirked an eyebrow beneath the golden cord she wore tied around her head. "Oh?"

_Soldier Blue told me there are a lot of different kinds of love, and I've found a bunch of them, but—but what exactly are you supposed to do once you figure out what type of love you feel for someone?_

She rested her chin on one hand, idly drumming her fingertips against her cheek. "Well, that depends—what kinds of love do you think you've found?"

Leo shrugged. _I don't know. _He didn't really want to try explaining himself, in case Ina ended up lecturing him like Soldier Blue had.

Ina smiled at him. "One thing you can always do is to tell the other person that you care about them. That will always make them happy, no matter what kind of love you think it is. Besides, sometimes love changes—it doesn't like to stay in the same category forever."

He looked at Ina. _I care about you, Ina! _he blurted out, but then blushed as he realized she probably hadn't meant for him to take her words so literally.

She laughed and leaned forward to tousle his hair. "I know. And you know I care about you, Leo. But maybe there's someone else, someone really special, who doesn't know you feel yet?"

_What do you mean, 'special'?_

"Someone important to you who doesn't fit into any of the categories you've already found. Someone who stands out."

Leo wrinkled his brows. A handful of people aboard the ship confused him—he didn't know how he felt about them. Commander Ross, for example, was neither friend nor family, so Leo wasn't entirely sure what to make of him. He didn't dislike him, though, so he simply filed him away in a mental "Miscellaneous" category. He was pretty sure that didn't qualify as "Special," though.

Cid, too, stumped him. Leo had long wavered between classifying him as a close friend or as family, but perhaps Cid deserved his own category—there was no one else like him.

Cid was special. Very special.

Leo didn't know why, but the realization made his face flush again.

Ina took a sip from her glass of ice water, watching him.

_D-do you have someone special like that, Ina? _wondered Leo.

Ina laughed again. "Who knows? But I get the feeling you have someone!"

He wanted to deny it, but instead his face just turned redder.

She put down her glass and gazed at him with fond amusement. "Your thoughts are all over the place, Leo. I can read you like an open book." She smiled and leaned forward to whisper, "You should tell him how you feel, you know."

_I can't do that._

"Yes, you can." She leaned back in her chair. "And when I'm back in a few months, you can tell me all about how it went. I have a feeling you'll have a lot to say."

Ina grinned at him, but all Leo could do was swallow nervously and stare down at his plate.

oOoOoOo

Nervousness took hold of Leo and never let go of him. Each time Cid's gaze fell upon him, Leo felt his heart race. When their hands brushed or their shoulders bumped together, Leo nearly jumped out of his skin. Even when they hung out with other friends, Leo felt anxious and uncomfortable as long as Cid was around, though he tried his best to appear normal. But every conversation he had with Cid left him red-faced and stammering incoherently.

He desperately wanted to know how Cid felt about him, but he didn't know how to ask.

The idea that Cid had someone else who was special to him terrified Leo.

Unable to cope, Leo eventually started avoiding everyone—including Cid—altogether.

But thoughts of Cid chased Leo everywhere he went. Even when Leo lay alone in bed at night, his mind inevitably turned to Cid, and in his sleep, thoughts of his friend would not leave him alone. Sometimes Leo woke up in the middle of the night from strange dreams of Cid that left him exhilarated with pleasure but awkwardly warm and sticky beneath the sheets. Those mornings were the worst, because he did not know what was happening to him anymore. It made him want to forget all about Cid and return to how his life had been before he knew anything about love.

Yet no matter how hard he tried, he could not erase Cid from his mind and, whether he dreamed strange things or not, Leo woke up each morning with Cid's name on his lips.

oOoOoOo

One evening, Cid appeared unexpectedly at the door to Leo's room. Hiding his surprise, Leo let him in without a question, but he noticed that Cid didn't come further into the room than necessary.

Cid's jaw was firmly set and his lips curved into a slight frown.

Leo stared at him, already feeling his heart beat faster just at the sight of him. _What's up? _he asked as casually as he could.

"Listen, Leo—are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?"

Leo was taken aback by the blunt questions, but he shook his head. _No, not at all. Why?_

Cid's brown eyes hardened. "Then why are you avoiding me?"

Leo felt his stomach sink—Cid had noticed. But Leo didn't know how he could possibly explain himself. He couldn't tell Cid that his presence stirred all sorts of strange feelings inside him and drove him to distraction. He couldn't tell him how he occupied his mind day and night. He could only look at his feet, silent and ashamed.

"What, you won't even tell me what I did?" Cid took a few steps towards Leo. "I'm your best friend! I feel like I have a right to know if I pissed you off!"

Leo shook his head without looking up. _You didn't do anything._

Cid stopped. His hands clenched into fists at his sides. "Then why won't you tell me what the hell your problem is?"

_I just—I don't know what to think of you._

"What?"

Leo finally raised his eyes. _I don't know what you are to me, or what I am to you! I can't think of anything but you anymore! I think I love you, but I don't even know what that means! That's my problem!_

Cid's brown eyes were wide with surprise, and Leo realized he'd been shouting. He never shouted.

Feeling drained by his outburst, Leo sank down to sit at the foot of his bed and buried his face in his hands. He felt ill. This was all wrong; all the things he had wanted to ask Cid weren't supposed to come out like this. Now Cid would really be mad.

The mattress sank a little as Cid sat down beside him. "What if I told you if I felt the same confusion about you?" Cid asked with the slightest tremor in his voice.

Leo felt a cold shock pass over him. Slowly, he raised his head and looked over at Cid. _You do?_

Cid nodded, his face strangely grim. "I think about you all the time, too. More than about anyone else." His voice was low and barely audible. "Especially when I'm all alone. Which is why I was even more confused when you started running away from me."

_I wasn't— _Leo began, but then he stopped the lie before he could say it. He wished he could explain himself, but nothing made sense anymore, not now when Cid was sitting beside him and Leo's heart was racing so fast he thought it might burst.

"Leo," said Cid, and now his face was so close now that his forehead bumped lightly against Leo's. The whole room suddenly felt too hot, so hot that when Cid gently kissed Leo's cheek, his lips felt cool and soothing.

But then he brought his lips to Leo's mouth.

Startled, Leo didn't know what to do, but instinct quickly took over and his mouth responded naturally.

There was no need for explanations or excuses anymore.

When they finally separated to catch their breaths, Cid's face was faintly flushed. "How do you feel?" he asked.

Leo gazed at him and realized all the nervousness that had been weighing him down had vanished. He felt light and giddy. _Happy, _he said, and leaned in for another kiss.

_I can make you feel even better, _said Cid directly into Leo's mind as their tongues met with delicate hesitancy, and then with almost feverish abandon.

_How? _wondered Leo, unable to imagine anything better than what he felt right now.

_There's...this... _said Cid, his hand gliding over Leo's thigh.

Leo pulled back, eyes widening as Cid's hand moved between his thighs. _Cid, what are you—?_

"Shh," he responded. "You'll see."

Cid's hand sent little shivers up and down Leo's spine. The sensation was rather different from what he felt while kissing Cid. He closed his eyes and wondered if he could be dreaming again. He wrapped his arms tighter around Cid, to re-ascertain that he was real and not a figment of his crazed imagination.

"I can do even more," breathed Cid into his ear. "Do you want me to?"

Leo nodded, not opening his eyes.

Cid unzipped the pants of Leo's uniform and tugged them down, out of the way. His touch made Leo gasp. Cid wrapped his free arm around Leo's shoulders to support him.

_Relax, _he said as he kissed Leo's forehead and slowly lowered his back to the bed.

Leo's eyes fluttered open. He gazed up at the face hovering just above his. The thrill of having those brown eyes fixed on him and the pleasure of the hand stroking him made him feel strangely weak, yet wonderful. His breath grew shallow. _Cid! _he whimpered, digging his fingers into the fabric of Cid's sleeves.

Cid's grip tightened, and now a moan escaped Leo. It felt so good, so much better than any dream he had ever had.

Then all of a sudden he felt the world around him implode and crash into one tight, white-hot point deep in his gut. He gasped, clinging tightly to Cid's arms as he spilled into Cid's hand.

Leo was dimly aware of Cid letting go of him and getting up from the bed, but by the time Cid returned, Leo had regained most of his senses.

_Cid, _he said, a mixture of wonder and gratitude welling up inside him.

Cid lay back down beside him, pillowing his head on one arm. "Did you like that?"

Leo nodded.

A pleased smile appeared on Cid's lips. "If you'd told me sooner instead of running away like an idiot,"Cid began, but then he stopped. "Whatever. I'm just glad you told me."

_I'm sorry for avoiding you. It was stupid._

Cid reached out and ran a hand over Leo's cheek. "Don't worry about it."

Leo couldn't take his eyes of Cid's face. He knew now with absolute certainty that Cid was special—that he loved Cid more than anyone else.

_Cid, _he asked, _does this make us more than friends?_

Cid smiled. "It makes us whatever you want us to be, Leo."

* * *

Author's note: Oh God, Leo is so awkward. Sorry. But I think everyone is awkward at that age, and since he's so thoughtful and introspective later in life, I feel like he must've been rather over-analytical as an emo teenager. Also, apologies for random original character Ina popping up again, but I wanted to show that Leo has friends other than Cid, too.

The real question here is where did Cid learn to do all that stuff, but I'll leave that up to your imagination.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Blue stood in front of the giant windows of the ship's observation deck, staring out at the whiteness beyond the glass. Every now and again, a patch of blue sky became visible as the ship plowed through the clouds.

But he had not come here to meditate upon the beauty of the sea of endless white.

"You wanted to see me, Soldier?" asked a female voice behind him.

He turned and saw Marta, the head of the Rescue Section, walking towards him. A slender woman with curly brown hair, she still looked too young to be in charge of anything, but Blue knew she was well into her nineties. He found himself envious of the effortless way she carried herself and the aura of youthfulness she radiated. He would give anything to be one-hundred again.

"How go the Rescue operations?" he inquired as Marta joined him by the window.

"Well enough," she answered, looking out at the clouds. "As you know, the Humans have become much better at detecting psionic emissions. It's getting harder for our people to take any action—offensive or defensive—without getting caught."

"Which is precisely why I wanted to speak with you," said Blue.

Marta turned towards him. "Oh?"

He clasped his hands behind his back. "I'm afraid I can't help you as much as I have in the past. As you've seen, Universal Control has finally figured out how to recognize my psionic signature much more quickly than in the past. I can't go leave the ship for long periods of time anymore. Even a purely telepathic out-of-body projection may be too risky now," he admitted in a low voice.

Telepathically projecting himself outside the ship Ataraxia required a great amount of energy, but he did it every few days to spy on the Humans and to scout out any potential new Mu that the Rescue agents on the ground could save. But over the last few months, it had become terrifyingly clear that the Humans could detect him if he expended too much energy even in his telepathic form.

"It's only a matter of time before they develop the capability to trace me back to the ship," he continued. "Our saboteurs can only do so much, and I'd rather not help the development of Human technology by giving them more data to work with. Therefore, I will be limiting my activities outside the ship to emergencies only."

Marta frowned slightly. "Does that mean you will no longer seek out new children, Soldier?"

"I will still do what I can," he assured her, "but it would be best if you would find other means to discover possible Mu."

She nodded, then let out a deep sigh. "Well, we were training our agents to be more self-sufficient anyway," she said. "I suppose this is a good reason to push them to the next level."

"I have full faith that you will meet this challenge, Marta."

She gazed at him levelly. "We will need more personnel."

He smiled a little. He had expected her demand. "I've authorized transfers from the other sections to help you. Tell the captain if you need more. Your section remains one of our highest priorities."

She returned his smile. "Thank you, Soldier. We won't let you down."

He nodded, and Marta excused herself.

Once she had gone, Blue turned back to the window. Towards the top he could see a fringe of blue sky with wisps of cloud twirling and dancing against the glass as the ship flew onward. He reached up and pressed a palm against the glass. He longed to be out there, soaring as he once had, propelled by his own energy. But now he could not even venture out telepathically, let alone in person.

A rare sigh of frustration escaped him.

Human technology was not the only reason Blue couldn't assist the Rescue Section anymore.

oOoOoOo

That evening, Blue met with Harley and Hillman in the captain's quarters for drinks.

"What'll it be, gentlemen?" asked Harley, standing with Hillman in front of an open cabinet full of beverages. "A friend just brought back some genuine Ataraxian whiskey for me." He picked up a small, dark bottle filled with an amber liquid and offered it to Hillman.

Hillman took the bottle and examined it. "Hmm," he murmured, then handed it back to Harley. "I'll have to sample a bit to ascertain its authenticity."

Harley smiled at him, then turned to Blue, who was seated in a big, dark green arm chair on the far side of a low, wooden coffee table. "And what can I get for you, Soldier?"

Blue crossed his legs. "You can drop the honorifics, Harley," he chided with a smile. "There's no one here but us."

Harley blinked, then asked again, "Well, what do you want, Blue?"

Blue gazed at the bottle of alcohol in Harley's hand. Old-fashioned alcohol was probably too strong for him right now; the doctor would surely yell at him if he drank the stuff. "I'll have some of that synthetic gin," he said, resigning himself to the much less intoxicating artificial liquor. The doctor would probably still scold him for drinking at all, but Blue didn't particularly care right now. What Dr. Nordy didn't know couldn't upset him.

Harley nodded and set about pouring drinks for everyone while Hillman took a seat on the green couch next to Blue's armchair.

"Ah, it's been a long week," sighed the professor, settling back against the cushions.

"No longer than the weeks that came before it," replied Blue wryly.

"Yes, but will it be as long as the week that will follow?" wondered Hillman.

Harley came over and handed them each a glass, then picked up his own whiskey and joined Hillman on the couch. "You two are waxing philosophical before you've even had your first drink?" wondered the captain. He raised his glass, and the others did the same. "To another week done," said Harley.

"Hear, hear."

Blue took a sip from his glass. The bubbles of his gin and tonic somehow didn't go down the right way, and Blue suddenly found himself spluttering and choking. Hillman leaned over to pat him on the back, and a long, desperate moment later, Blue could breathe again.

"Thanks," he managed, coughing. He rubbed a hand over his chest; he was sure that carbonated water wasn't supposed to hurt so much.

"You alright?" asked Harley.

Blue looked down into his drink. Perhaps the doctor was right in forbidding him from drinking any alcohol. "When did I become so old?" Blue wondered aloud.

Harley and Hillman glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

"This, from the youngest one here!" chortled Hillman.

"Blue, if you're old, then what am I?" asked Harley. "A fossil?"

"But William, you have no right to complain, either!" insisted Hillman. "You're nearly my age, yet you still look much younger!"

Harley ran a hand self-consciously over his impeccably neat, blond hair. "But what about him?" he said, gesturing at Blue with his glass. "He still doesn't look a day over seventeen!"

Blue set his glass down on the coffee table and folded his hands. "If by seventeen, you mean seventy..."

Hillman sighed forlornly. "Ah, to be seventy again! Or even a hundred-and-seventy!"

They laughed.

The conversation turned to the younger generations of Mu aboard the ship. "They just don't seem to age at all," Harley observed with a hint of envy. "Were we that young once?"

"They didn't have to go through everything we did," mused Hillman. "The most painful experience most of them have faced is the adulthood exam. While traumatic, it doesn't compare to the horrors of Altamira."

Harley poured himself another drink from the bottle of rare whiskey. "You sound like Zel."

"We must be doing something right, though," interjected Blue, "if the children can enjoy such carefree youths. Either that, or they're simply more resilient than we give them credit for." The last bits of melting ice clinked in his almost empty glass.

Hillman held his glass out so that Harley could refill it. "It's evolution. Under the right circumstances, each new generation will be stronger than the last."

"Then why are the Humans catching more and more of the children we have under surveillance?" asked Harley. "We have to rescue them almost as soon as we find them, or else Universal Control will get its filthy hands on them."

"Evolution applies to the Humans and their technology, too," said Blue.

"But it is possible that the newest generations of Mu are developing differently from us," Hillman said. "Supposing that they can use their psionic abilities at an earlier age than we could, it's not at all surprising that Universal Control is finding them sooner than it used to."

"Well, either way, we need to step up the pace, or soon there won't be anybody left to do the evolving," grumbled Harley.

"Marta's working on it," said Blue. "Give her time. We will succeed."

"If only we knew how much time we had left," said the captain, looking straight at Blue.

Blue pretended to take a sip from his almost empty glass, avoiding Harley's eyes.

oOoOoOo

_Soldier Blue?_

"What is it, Leo?"

_Why are so many more people going to Ataraxia these days?_

Blue stopped in his tracks to look back at Leo, who was following him on his way to the bridge. "Because the Humans have gotten better at fighting us, and so it takes more people to counter them." He turned and began walking down the corridor again.

There were no more questions forthcoming, but Blue could sense that something was weighing on Leo's mind. Suppressing a sigh, Blue stopped again and asked, "Why do you want to know?"

_Since I got assigned to Rescue as a shuttle pilot a few weeks ago, I've been talking to the Rescue agents a lot more, _Leo ran a hand along the golden cord he kept tied around his head. It was a nervous habit Leo had recently developed, and Blue wondered why the boy had suddenly started wearing the silly thing. It was probably something the younger Mu thought fashionable these days.

"Ah, that's right—you've been shuttling agents back and forth to Ataraxia," recalled Blue. Now Leo's unexpected inquiry made more sense. Leo's skill as a pilot had come well-recommended by his supervising officer, so Blue had approved his transfer to Rescue without hesitation.

_The agents don't say much, but the more I talk to them, the more I think that I might want to do the work they do._

Blue's eyebrows rose. Out of all the career paths he had envisioned for Leo, this was not one of them. "You want to return to Ataraxia as an agent? You do know what that entails, don't you?"

_I know I would have to train really hard, _Leo said, a determined light in his eyes, _but I think I could do it. I want to help rescue other kids, the way I was rescued._

Blue frowned, recalling what a close call Leo's rescue had been. "You know that agents have to hide among the Humans without using their telepathy, except when absolutely necessary."

Leo nodded.

Realizing there was no tactful way to voice his concern, Blue reached out and touched Leo's shoulder. "Your inability to speak will be a big obstacle for you, if you were to become an agent," he said bluntly. "You would immediately be targeted with suspicion."

Leo gnawed at his lower lip, then shook his head. _No, Soldier, I—I don't think so. I spent the first six years of my life avoiding all attention, even hiding my abilities from my parents. _He took a deep breath, as though it were hard for him to disagree with the Soldier. _I know how to make my self unnoticeable and unremarkable—even without telepathy._

Blue lowered his hand. Leo had clearly been giving this subject some thought for a while now.

_I remember how scared I was when I first came _here, said Leo. He cast his eyes to the floor. _When we landed on the Shangri-la, I felt you enter my mind. I was terrified, because I had been fighting for so long to keep everyone out of it._

Blue hadn't thought Leo would remember so much of their first encounter. He did not know what abuse the shy, mute child had suffered among the Humans; he only knew that Leo had instinctively closed himself off from the rest of the world to protect himself long enough to avoid being exterminated by Universal Control. Leo had done what was necessary to survive.

_But you didn't push, _continued Leo._ You just took me into your arms in a way my parents never had. _Leo raised his eyes. They shone like amber in sunlight. _I want to become someone like you, Soldier Blue—someone the children can trust when everything they know is taken away from them._

For a moment, Blue was taken aback, but then a slow smile spread across his face. At last, Leo had found something to propel him forward in the face of adversity, to give his life purpose. The child driven solely by a basic survival instinct was now a young man with the determination to shape his own destiny. The little boy who had clung to his cape and refused to speak to anyone else had become an adult capable of disagreeing with him and willing to risk his life to help others.

Perhaps Hillman was right, and the next generation of Mu was already much stronger than they could imagine.

"I guess I'll have to find a new aide, then."

It took Leo a moment to catch Blue's meaning, but then his face lit up. _Soldier Blue!_

The delight on his face made Blue want to take Leo into his arms, if only to keep the young man from growing up even faster. But Blue allowed himself only a smile, praying that Leo would not detect the genuine sadness beneath it. He would miss his aide; rarely had he felt so comfortable working with someone so much younger than him.

But more than anything, he feared for Leo. The boy had been brought from Ataraxia in a haze of blood and gun smoke, and Blue would have liked to spare him future horrors. But as an agent, it was all too likely that he would face similar terrible experiences.

But still, this was Leo's choice, not Blue's.

"However, you still work for me right now," Blue said, turning on his heel and striding away. "We're going to be late if you don't move along." Leo's footfalls echoed down the corridor as he hurried to catch up with the Soldier.

Blue wondered how often he would get to hear that familiar sound again before Leo left his side forever.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Cid woke up and remembered he was in Leo's bed. He blinked at the ceiling for a minute, then rolled over and gazed at the man sleeping next to him. He had the white bedsheet pulled up almost to his chin, but one bare arm was exposed. His short, wavy blond hair was amusingly disheveled.

Smiling, Cid propped his head up on one hand and reached out with the other to touch Leo's bare shoulder. He traced his fingers over the lean muscles of Leo's upper arm, then let his hand trail all the way down his forearm, but Leo still showed no sign of waking.

Cid withdrew his hand and lay his head back down, resigning himself to another hour or so of sleep. But no sooner had he closed his eyes than he felt a warm hand lightly take hold of his. He opened his eyes again and found Leo smiling sleepily at him.

_Y__ou're awake? _Cid asked.

Leo closed his eyes again, dropping his head back onto his pillow. _No._

Amused, Cid shifted closer to Leo, who let go of his hand and lazily wrapped an arm around Cid's shoulders instead.

_What time is it? _asked Leo after a little while.

_Just after 9:00._

_I don't have to go to work until 11:00_.

"You have work today?" Cid said aloud, surprised.

_It's just a training exercise. Won't take the whole day._

"What on earth do you need to train for on your day off?" wondered Cid, unable to keep the disappointment from his voice. Today was supposed to be one of those rare days they both had free.

_You know that I need to complete my training to become a full member of the Rescue Section._

"Yeah, but why the rush?" grumbled Cid.

_I'm sorry. I can't do anything about it._

Cid sighed and pressed his lips against Leo's collarbone—the most accessible part of his body at the moment. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to your crazy schedule." He tugged the sheet aside a little and moved down so that he could plant a kiss on Leo's bare chest. "I'll just take advantage of the time you can spare for me."

Leo laughed softly and rolled onto his back so that Cid could move freely. Without hesitation, Cid moved forward, pressing himself close against Leo's body, and proceeded to kiss and nuzzle his way down Leo's neck. Cid could hear Leo's breathing grow ragged as his lips and his hands traveled lower over the familiar lines of his lover's body. It only made Cid more excited.

_Cid!_ gasped Leo, his fingernails digging lightly into Cid's back as Cid reached a particularly sensitive area.

Cid paused to look up. Leo's eyes were half-closed and his lips slightly parted. "You know, there's nothing I love more than hearing you say my name like that," he said, moving back up to kiss those inviting lips.

Leo responded by wrapping his arms and then his legs around him, drawing him as close as possible. Now it was Cid's turn to gasp.

Their eyes met for an instant—Cid never tired of looking into those amber-gold eyes—and he felt that indescribable rush as their telepathy intertwined even more closely than their bodies. Leo smiled up at him, and suddenly Cid couldn't tell anymore whether the pleasure he felt was his own or Leo's—or both. He was losing himself in Leo's mind, but it didn't matter right now, because it felt amazing.

He had everything he could ever want, right here.

oOoOoOo

One night, as they lay pleasantly exhausted in bed together—in Cid's room, for once—Leo said, _I'm leaving in two days._

"Leaving?" Cid idly stroked his thumb over the smooth skin of Leo's stomach just below his navel. "Where are you going?"

_Ataraxia._

His hand froze. "What?"

_I'm going to Ataraxia._

Understanding slowly came to Cid. "You're going on a rescue mission?"

Leo nodded. _I'll be back in three months._

Now Cid sat up in bed. "Three months?" he cried, incredulous. "Three months? What the hell?" He stared down at Leo, brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what to do with this unexpected piece of information. There was no reason a pilot would ever have to spend that much time in Ataraxia, just to collect some Mu agents and children.

Then his eyes widened. "You're not just a pilot for the Rescue Section, are you," he realized, and a cold, hard sense of dread settled heavily in his stomach. All this time, he had thought Leo was one of several pilots working for Rescue. He had never suspected Leo was an actual rescue agent.

_I never said I wanted to be "just a pilot."_

"You never said you were planning to become anything else, either," he fired back. He clenched his fists to keep his hands from trembling.

Leo flinched at the volume of Cid's voice. _I told you I was training._ _I thought you understood._

A rush of anger filled Cid. "I thought it was training for pilots! Like more complex evasive maneuvers, or something! Not actual training to go wandering around among the Humans pretending to be one of them!"

_I thought you knew._

"Don't act like it's my fault I didn't realize your training had nothing to do with being a pilot! And don't you dare tell me I should've figured out that you were hiding something from me!"

_I wasn't hiding anything! _Even Leo was yelling now.

Cid laughed a dry, empty laugh. "Yeah, right."

Leo rolled onto his side, turning his back on Cid. Cid glared at his hunched shoulders in silence, but then he slowly realized that in less than 48 hours, Leo would be gone. There would be no one sharing his bed for three months.

And if anything went wrong, Leo might never come back to him.

Fear twinged in his chest, but he refused to let go of his anger until he had forced Leo to give him some kind of explanation. "What the hell are you going to do there for three months?" he asked.

_I can't tell you that._

"Why not?"

_It's dangerous for too many people to know what we're doing._

Cid gritted his teeth. Now he was angrier than he had ever been in his life, but he took an unsteady breath to force himself to calm down somewhat. "Okay. Okay." He took another deep breath and let it out. "I'm assuming that you'll be looking for kids? And spying on the Humans? Maybe doing a bit of sabotage here and there?"

Leo hesitated before answering, _Something like that._

Cid threw himself back down onto the bed and lay on his side, close to Leo but not touching him. "Why would you ever want to go back to Ataraxia? Have you forgotten that those bastards will kill any Mu they get their filthy hands on?"

Leo rolled over to face Cid. _That's exactly why I'm going. To stop them from killing any more of us. _His glare was hard enough to silence Cid's protest.

Cid had never thought Leo would look at him like that. But now he could feel it: Leo was angry, too. Leo felt betrayed, too. And Leo wanted Cid to know it.

Abruptly, Cid's anger vanished completely and gave way to a terrible fear. Cid put his arms around Leo, pulling him close. Leo was stiff and unresponsive in his arms.

"I can't let you go back there!"

_It's my duty, Cid. I have to go. I want to go._

Cid leaned his forehead against Leo's shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut. "I just don't want to lose you, Leo," he whispered.

Some of the tension left Leo's body. Cid felt a hand smooth over his hair and then Leo's lips fluttered against his temple.

_Don't worry. You won't._

Cid wanted to believe him.

oOoOoOo

Cid lost track of how many days had passed since Leo's departure. Everything around him seemed to be lost in a thick fog—he neither heard nor saw his surroundings, and merely went through his day mechanically. He went to work, he ate, he fell into his lonely bed, and then got up and went back to work. Every day was the same, and Cid was running completely on auto-pilot.

"Cid! What the hell are you doing?"

The captain's sharp voice cut through his mental haze and abruptly pulled Cid back to reality. He suddenly realized he was on the bridge, standing at his station at the helm with the ship's wheel in his hands. A glance at the controls revealed that the Shangri-la had fallen into a very strange flight pattern that would send it around and around in one big circle instead of following the planned route across the barren continent beneath them.

In a flash of terror, Cid realized he had spaced out and sent the ship veering far off course. "I'm sorry, Captain!" he gulped. "I made a mistake." He hurriedly steered the ship back towards the proper heading.

"Asleep at the wheel, huh," muttered Brau from her seat behind the captain.

"You could kill us all, going off course like that!" growled old Zel from the other side of the captain's chair. "This is the second time this week you've screwed up!"

Cid clutched the wheel tightly to keep his hands from trembling and stared straight ahead, willing himself to stay calm. He felt all eyes on him, and a cold sweat broke out on his back.

"Cid, come with me!" barked the captain. "Aihara, call another helmsman to take Cid's place for the rest of this shift."

"Aye, sir!"

Cid slowly released his grip on the wheel, then reluctantly turned to follow Captain Harley to the elevator that would take them down from the bridge.

"Cid, I don't know what's going on with you," said Harley, folding his arms across his chest, "but I can't have you on the bridge if you can't stay focused."

"I'm sorry, Captain."

"The ship is literally in your hands, Cid. You need to stay sharp."

Cid swallowed and forced himself not to duck away from the captain's furious gaze. "It won't happen again, sir. I just—"

Harley cut him off with a shake of his head. "I don't need to hear any excuses. Take the rest of the day to do whatever you need to do to pull yourself together, then come back tomorrow prepared to do your job." He put a heavy hand on Cid's shoulder. "I'm counting on you, Cid."

"Yes, sir."

oOoOoOo

"You wanted to talk to me, Cid?"

Cid sat in a black armchair across from Ina in the observation lounge. A low glass table stood between them. Ina sat with her legs crossed and her hands in her lap as she waited for Cid's response.

"It's about Leo," he began.

She smiled. "I figured as much. You must miss him."

Cid reddened, feeling strangely embarrassed. He knew Leo was rather close to this woman who had rescued him from Ataraxia, but he still felt uncomfortable with the idea that Leo talked to her about their relationship. He wondered just how much she knew.

But he pushed those thoughts aside and asked, "Do you know what he's doing in Ataraxia right now? He didn't even tell me he was training to be an agent until just before he left, so we didn't really have time to talk about it." Anger flared up inside him at the memory.

Ina gazed steadily at him. "Well, to be fair, we weren't sure whether we were going to promote him to active agent status until about two days before he had to go. It was rather sudden for all involved."

Cid blinked. This response was unexpected. "Really?" In his head, he had convinced himself that Leo had known about the mission for a long time and simply hidden it from Cid.

Ina brushed a stray strand of red hair behind her ear. "Leo's handicap presents a particular problem for someone who needs to infiltrate Human society," she said. "Originally he was supposed to be more involved on the logistical side of things, but in the end, his skills proved too valuable for the Section not to use him in the field."

"Use him for what?"

She sighed. "Even I don't know all the details of his particular mission. But he's good, Cid—good at staying hidden, good at getting past security systems. Good at a lot of other things, too, I imagine. Right now we desperately need more people like him."

"But why couldn't he tell me? All this time, I thought he was happy to be a pilot!"

"That's something you should ask him yourself when he gets back."

Cid stared at her, then asked, "Is he in any danger?"

Ina uncrossed her legs. "We're all in danger, no matter how safe we pretend this ship is."

Cid felt like he was a child again, being scolded by a teacher, even though he didn't think he had done anything wrong. He didn't know what to say.

"Cid, no agent gets sent into the field without intensive survival training. And no agent leaves the ship without full awareness of the risks they take. That's why there are so few of us, and why we need Leo."

Cid felt his throat tighten, making it hard to breathe. He took a shuddering breath, but

his voice was rough and unsteady as the same old question slipped from his lips, "But why didn't he tell me?"

Something like pity briefly softened Ina's eyes, but then she rose to her feet. "I'm sorry, Cid. I don't know what else to tell you." She tugged at the hem of her uniform dress. "This is something you two will have to work out."

She turned to walk away, but Cid called out after her, "Wait, Ina!"

She stopped and regarded him coolly as he stood up and walked towards her. He stopped in front of her, looking her in the eye. "Did you help convince Leo to transfer to Rescue?"

Ina raised a shoulder in a careless shrug. "He was just one of several pilots temporarily assigned to Rescue to help us put more agents in the field. Of course he came and talked with me about his new job, but the transfer decision was not mine to make."

With a nod, Cid indicated the gold cord Ina wore tied around her head. "Leo only started wearing his headband after he started flying for you guys. Tell me you had nothing to do with that, when you wear the exact same accessory."

Ina reached up to touch the cord on her head. "You don't know?" she asked with an incredulous laugh. "I started wearing this because of Leo!"

Cid's brows furrowed tightly. "What do you mean? I thought—"

Ina reached back to untie the cord, then pointed at her now bare forehead. There was a horizontal, two-inch line, paler than the rest of her skin, halfway between her right eyebrow and her hairline. "You see this scar? I got that one fleeing a Human ambush while trying to save a certain blond, mute boy, you know."

Cid was dumbstruck.

No wonder Leo had been so angry when Cid had reminded him of how dangerous the Humans were. Leo knew far better than Cid what a threat Humans could be.

Ina wrapped the cord around her head again and tied it so that it formed a bow at the base of her ponytail. "At first, I tried to hide the scar with this silly cord, but now I wear it for a different reason." Cord secured, she lowered her hands. "It reminds me of how important my work is, and how lucky I am to be alive."

Cid now knew why Leo had taken to wearing the same cord around his head.

He wondered yet again why Leo hadn't told him the truth.

And then he wondered if Leo would ever forgive him for his foolishness.

Ina's parting words stayed with him long after she left: "You should be proud of him, Cid—not angry."

He was both. But most of all, he was scared.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Leo stepped out of the shuttle onto the deck of the Shangri-la. He took off the red glasses that were part of his disguise and looked around. It had been two months since he last set foot here, but it seemed like nothing had changed. He smiled to himself. It always felt nice to return to his real home, here, aboard the Shangri-la.

It was even nicer to come back after a successful mission like the last one.

He wondered if Cid was waiting for him somewhere. He couldn't wait to see him again. He knew Cid still disapproved of his frequent absences, but this time he could promise Cid that he wouldn't have to leave again for at least another month.

Success had its rewards.

"Leo!"

He turned and saw Ina hurrying towards him. She came up and hugged him briefly. "Welcome back. Did everything go alright?"

He nodded. _I didn't expect to see you here._

"Don't worry, I leave tomorrow to take your place out there," she grinned. They started walking towards the exit. "Your debriefing with Marta is scheduled for 21:00, so you have two hours to take it easy."

_Anything exciting happen while I was gone? _he wondered.

"Well, I wasn't going to tell you until after you'd settled back in, but—it's the Soldier. He fell ill three days ago and has been confined to bed since then."

Leo stopped in his tracks, unease clutching his heart. _What? Is he alright?_

She came to a halt and looked back at him. "Yeah, they say it's nothing serious." Her eyes were full of doubt, however.

Something about the whole situation did not feel right to Leo; he could sense an undercurrent of nervous fear from the ship as a whole. People were worried.

They resumed walking down the corridor again. _Can I see him? _wondered Leo.

"I don't see why not. I can ask for you if you want to shower and get changed first."

_No, thank you. I'll take care of it myself._

oOoOoOo

"Ah, Leo, is that you?"

Leo approached Soldier Blue's bed. _Yes, Soldier. How are you feeling?_

Blue lay beneath a heavy down blanket with only his silver head sticking out. His face seemed unusually pale. "Come, sit beside me," he said, without answering Leo's question.

Leo carefully sat down on the edge of the wide bed. Blue started coughing, and Leo worriedly watched him. It was clear that Blue was in pain. The coughing fit passed, leaving Blue's face ashen and weary.

Leo couldn't believe how anyone could say his condition wasn't serious. The Soldier looked terrible.

_Soldier, if I may, _he began, gesturing at Blue's headphones.

Blue closed his eyes, indicating his approval. Leo removed the headphones and then smoothed some silver hair out of Blue's eyes. His hand brushed the Soldier's skin, and Leo realized that Blue was running a high fever.

"Thank you," murmured Blue.

Leo carefully set the headphones aside and gazed down at Blue worriedly.

_You're not wearing your uniform,_ observed Blue, opening his eyes with great effort. _It's not Halloween yet, is it?_

Leo tugged at the dark blue sweater he was wearing. _I just returned from Ataraxia. I'm still in my Human clothing._

_How are things out there?_

_We managed to disrupt research on a new psionic detection system. And we finally have people in position to introduce the bio-hacked Weeping Mouse into commercial pet stores throughout the city. _

Blue smiled. _I can't believe you're old enough to talk about things like that, Leo._

Leo reddened. _I'm sorry, I will let the section chief give you a full report later._

Blue shook his head. _No, I'm just impressed by how well you're doing._

_I would not be here but for your support and guidance._

Blue slid an arm out from beneath the covers and touched Leo's hand. _I may need your support soon, Leo._

Leo gently clasped the Soldier's gloved hand. _I am always at your service, Soldier Blue. What can I do?_

_Did they tell you what happened to me? _

Leo's eyes narrowed. Again Blue evaded Leo's question. But Leo merely said, _No, I only heard you were feeling unwell._

Blue smiled and a sparkle returned to his ruby eyes. _Good, _he said, _then I can tell you the truth before you hear their version of things. They'll tell you I had some kind of seizure or a heart attack, depending on who you ask, but believe me, it was none of those._

Leo raised his eyebrows. None of those words sounded reassuring, and Blue's odd, rambling tone did not comfort him.

Blue gazed up at him, a strange smile on his lips. _I was looking for something. The doctor had forbidden me from spending too much time telepathically roaming through Ataraxia—too draining, too taxing on my ancient body, he says—but I had made a most remarkable discovery. I had to investigate further. But I must have overdone it. After I returned to my body, I tried to go up to the bridge and— _He stopped to cough again. _And next thing I knew, I was lying in sickbay. _He chuckled softly. _Apparently I passed out in the hallway right outside my door. _

Leo could find nothing amusing in this story. The Soldier had just admitted that his disregard for the doctor's orders had completely incapacitated him.

But whatever it was that had absorbed Blue's attention and energy so much, it had to be unbelievably important. Leo could not believe that Blue would take such an irresponsible risk without a very, very good reason.

_What did you find in Ataraxia that was so interesting, Soldier? _he asked cautiously.

Blue's gaze grew distant. His eyes seemed to be staring at something only he could see, something far, far away. His smile broadened, bringing a bit of color back to his pale face. _You'll never believe it, Leo. No one will ever believe it. I still can't quite believe it, which is why I can't tell you yet._

Leo worried that the Soldier was actually delirious from his fever. Nervous, he gripped Blue's hand tightly.

_But don't worry, Leo, _said Blue, closing his eyes. _When the time comes, you will be one of the first to know._

oOoOoOo

Leo sought out Cid late that night, after his talk with Blue and his briefing with Marta. Cid let him into his room. They stared at each other for a long moment, silent measuring the guilt and the frustration on both sides before reaching an unspoken agreement that none of that mattered anymore. They fell into each other's arms, kissing and frantically tugging at the articles of clothing separating them.

It was always like this, whenever Leo finally returned.

Leo tumbled into bed, pulling Cid down with him. As always, there was no better distraction from his fears and no better comfort for his worries than being with Cid. Leo wanted nothing more than to forget everything for a little while, and Cid seemed willing to oblige him. They made love with the pent up desire of eight lonely weeks and then fell asleep together, blissfully exhausted.

But Leo awoke in the middle of the night and sat up with a start. He thought he had heard someone enter his safe house—but then he realized he was back on the Shangri-la, far away from the small, suburban house he had called home for the last two months. There was little danger that Human intruders would find him here.

He looked down at Cid, who lay on his back, snoring softly.

Even though Cid said nothing, Leo had seen the judgment in his eyes when he stepped into the room. Even if Cid understood Leo's reasons for becoming an agent, it seemed as though he could never fully accept the long absences Leo inflicted upon him.

Leo was tired of asking for forgiveness every time he came back from Ataraxia, especially since he had long resigned himself to the fact that Cid would ever understand what Leo endured during his stints among the Humans.

Cid stirred slightly, then opened his eyes and peered up at Leo in the dark. "You okay?" he asked, his voice heavy with sleep.

Leo guiltily ran his fingers through Cid's soft hair. _Yeah. Just thinking._

"About what?"

_Nothing._

"Come, go back to sleep," said Cid, tugging on Leo's arm. Leo hesitated, but then obediently lay back down. Cid put an arm around him. "That's better. For a moment I thought you were going to get up and leave me again."

Leo's breath caught in his throat. There it was again, the subtle knife of Cid's bitterness. It didn't matter whether or not Cid wielded it against him deliberately—it still cut sharply.

_Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, _he assured him. It was always the same platitude, and he knew Cid didn't believe him.

"For how long, though?" Cid sounded more awake now.

Leo felt a pang in his heart. _I'm all yours for at least the next four weeks, Cid._

"What a lucky man I am, to spend an entire month with my beloved."

Leo pushed Cid away, angry now that he could tell Cid was being intentionally spiteful. _How fortunate I must be, _he fired back, _to receive such a warm welcome after risking my life in Ataraxia._

"I'm not the one making you go out there," Cid retorted.

Leo glowered at him in the dark. _Yeah, but I thought you were the reason I try to make it back here in one piece. _He regretted the words as soon as they left his mind, but he didn't try to take them back. They were the truth.

A heavy, tortured silence settled between them, dividing the bed like a brick wall.

Leo rolled over and stared out into the darkness, anger and guilt and unexpected loneliness stirring within him.

After a little while, he felt Cid's fingertips gently touch his face. Leo shut his eyes, pretending to be asleep. He did not want to deal with Cid right now. If they waited until morning, everything would be better. It always was.

But Cid was insistent. His hand brushed over Leo's ear and tangled in his hair. Warm lips planted a kiss his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean it. I'm grateful you came back. I am. I just missed you so much."

Leo stubbornly squeezed his eyes shut, telling himself not to respond to this obvious ploy of Cid's, but then he gave up. He opened his eyes and rolled back to look up at Cid. Cid quickly leaned down and kissed him, nipping at his lower lip in the way that Leo always found irresistible.

_Cid, _said Leo, feeling his defenses crumble. He hated how easily Cid could manipulate him—but he also loved it.

Cid pulled back. "I love you, Leo."

Leo felt as though his heart might burst. He pushed Cid over onto his back, firmly but not harshly. Leo moved on top of him, pinning his lover's shoulders to the mattress as he bent down to give him a hard, almost punishing kiss—it was his revenge, after all. He could play Cid's game, too.

"Leo!" gasped Cid as they parted for air. But Leo refused to let him have a break; instead, he gently bit Cid's skin at the junction of his neck and shoulder, knowing that was one of Cid's weak points. He was rewarded with another gasp and a delicate shiver.

He would forgive Cid's behavior this time. He always forgave him.

And if Cid wanted all of Leo's attention, then he had it. If Cid wanted more time with him, then he would get it now.

_I won't let you sleep tonight, Cid, _he informed him as his mouth trailed down over Cid's flat stomach.

He would give Cid all he wanted. But in return, Leo vowed he would never again ask for Cid's pardon when he knew he had done no wrong. There would be no more apologies.

And maybe, just maybe, there would be no more guilt plaguing Leo.

oOoOoOo

The months flew by, and Leo came and went. His time aboard the ship always seemed too short, but by the end he always found himself strangely eager to return to Ataraxia. There was always so much work to be done.

They had planned to use the genetically engineered versions of the creature popularly known as the "weeping mouse" as a common household pet that could alert them to Mu children; however, this project failed dramatically when the Humans discovered the animal's telepathic abilities. Unwilling to admit defeat, Leo spearheaded a new effort to have Mu agents in the municipal government install the intelligent, blue-furred rodent in the city zoo and the local amusement park. The reports from the weeping mouse in the amusement park quickly led to the discovery of yet another secret underground chamber where children underwent their adulthood exam. Within a week of the opening of the weeping mouse exhibit, the lives of three more Mu children had been saved.

The thrill of this new success more than compensated Leo for the endless fear of discovery he endured while living in Ataraxia. When he took the tiny hand of the first child he personally rescued and helped her out of the rescue shuttle, he knew he had finally found his purpose in life.

Even Cid seemed genuinely happy for him, for once.

But slowly, Leo realized something was still missing. He didn't know what it was, but something was gone.

He looked for it in his work, in the commendations he received from his superiors and in the respect earned from his colleagues, but it wasn't there. He searched for it in the daily adrenaline rush of life as a Mu in hostile Human territory, but that wasn't enough. He desperately sought it out in the intoxicating warmth of Cid's beautiful body, but even then, he came up empty.

And then he realized that was the problem.

As he lay panting in Cid's bed on the evening before he had to leave for another mission, Leo knew he could not spend the rest of the night here. This was no longer where he belonged. The realization completely blindsided him, but he knew he was right.

He couldn't be Cid's lover anymore.

So while Cid went to take a shower, Leo got up and left without saying goodbye. He spent the rest of his night alone in his own room, trying not to cry.

Cid did not try to contact him.

oOoOoOo

When Leo came back a mere month later, he did not see Cid for three days after his return, but on the fourth night he ended up in Cid's room again, as though nothing had changed. Cid said nothing about Leo's abrupt departure four weeks earlier, and Leo dared not bring it up. So he lost himself in the familiar pleasures of Cid's bed, and then fell asleep, blissfully unconscious of his own hypocrisy until morning.

But when he woke up, he knew he had to say something, before everything spiraled out of control. He loved Cid too much to keep doing this to him. It wasn't fair to him.

_Cid, I think we should end this._

"End what?"

_This. You. Me. I can't do this anymore. I can't be this for you anymore. _He rolled over and climbed out of bed, looking for his clothes.

"But, Leo!"

He looked back at Cid, and wondered why it hurt him so much to do this when he knew it was necessary.

Naked, Cid got out of bed and walked towards Leo. He put his hands on Leo's face and searched his eyes. "You're not kidding, are you," he sighed, visibly pained.

Leo shut his eyes. _I'm sorry, Cid! _His voice was nearly a sob.

"I love you, Leo. I thought you loved me, too."

_I— _Leo stopped.

"You can't say it anymore," observed Cid, taking a step back. "But you haven't said it in a long time. I'm not stupid. I noticed." He picked up Leo's pants and flung them at him.

Leo caught them and stared at Cid for a moment before awkwardly stooping down to pull on his pants. As he picked up his uniform jacket from the floor, he saw drops of liquid spatter to the ground and realized they were tears. He was crying again, completely against his will. He scrubbed his hands across his face, angry at his lack of self-control. He couldn't find his undershirt, but he didn't care anymore. He had others.

He just wanted to get out of this room as fast as possible.

He zipped up his uniform jacket and looked back at Cid. _I'm sorry. But I have to stop this, before you end up hating me completely._

"Do you hate me, Leo?"

_No._

Cid let out a shuddering breath, as though he had been holding it for a long time. "Okay. Okay then."

His jaw was set firmly, and he held Leo's tearful gaze steadily. But then he folded his arms across his chest and turned away from Leo.

Leo had never seen Cid look more lonely.

_Goodbye, Cid._

The door slid open, and Leo stepped out into the hallway. He heard Cid say, _Be safe out there, Leo._

Then the door closed behind him, and Leo's heart broke completely.

But this was what he wanted.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Blue had waited two years for this day. They were perhaps the longest years of his life.

It had taken great effort to resist the temptation to revisit the miraculous discovery he had made that day he collapsed in the hallway. Rumor had it that he'd fallen suddenly ill; the doctor said it was nothing but another symptom of his increasing age. But Blue knew it was one of the greatest moments of his long, long life. It had changed everything.

There was only one thing that could possibly surpass the joy he had discovered—but that would require much more time.

He accepted now that he needed to conserve his energy for when it would be most needed. This knowledge was the only thing keeping him from flying down to Ataraxia himself to see with his own eyes the wonder he'd stumbled across two years ago. On occasion, he gingerly reached out with his telepathy to make sure the object of his adoration still existed, that it hadn't been merely an illusion—but that was the extent of his investigation. Since even those out-of-body excursions were dangerous, he tried to be patient and wait for the right time. But it was all he could do to fight off the curiosity that tormented him.

Still, somehow he had managed to keep his secret—from Harley, from Hillman, and even from Physis, though something about her tarot readings suggested that she had seen hints of what he was hiding. But he could not shake the fear that if he spoke too soon, it would all go wrong again, like so many of his other dreams. Every fiber of his being told him that this was his last chance, the final opportunity to make things right and shape the unseen future into something better than the present.

But today—today he would reveal his precious secret to the one person who could help him achieve success.

"Leo."

_You wanted to see me before I left, Soldier Blue?_

Blue turned as Leo entered the Blue Room. "I have a request for you," he said, his voice all business. "There's a house I want monitored in the neighborhood where you are currently stationed. A two-year-old boy lives there. He is almost certainly a Mu."

_If you want me to arrange a rescue, I can—_

Blue shook his head. "No. You must not reveal this to the Rescue Section, or to anyone else, for that matter. This mission is entirely between you and me."

He saw Leo's brows furrow in puzzlement, so he added, "I cannot stir up a fuss before I've confirmed that he is a Mu. I want you to simply keep an eye on him and submit a full report to me when you get back. Understood?"

_Yes, Soldier._

"I've added the necessary information to your files. I'm counting on you, Leo."

_Sir, if I may ask—why me? Surely there are more qualified surveillance agents._

"Because I trust you, Leo." Blue gave him a smile, hoping Leo would accept it as an apology for his cryptic behavior. He simply could not tell him everything yet. But he expected Leo to trust him enough to obey him without further question. "Now go," he commanded, softening the order with another smile. "Don't let me keep you."

Leo held his gaze a moment longer, but then he bowed his head and left.

Now the real waiting began.

oOoOoOo

When Leo returned from Ataraxia two-and-a-half months later, Blue restrained himself from questioning him the moment he arrived. He managed to wait until the next day before summoning Leo to the Blue Room.

"Welcome back, Leo. How was your trip?"

_Surprisingly uneventful, Soldier, _said Leo with a smile.

"Good, good." Blue clasped his hands behind his back, beneath his cape. "I trust you brought back the information I requested?" he asked, straining to keep his eagerness out of his voice. Leo had no idea how important his next words would be, how broadly they could impact the future of their entire species.

_Of course, Soldier, _Leo responded, raising his datapad. _I didn't have the chance to do anything except cursory visual surveillance, unfortunately._

Blue caught himself tapping his foot impatiently and stopped it. "So what did you find?"

_The boy is pale-skinned and blond, with green _eyes, said Leo, reading over his notes. _He is of average height and weight for his age, and very energetic. He appears to be a healthy child with a strong constitution and no evident physical impairments. His parents seem to be a rather affectionate couple and dote on him a lot. _He lowered the datapad and looked at Blue. _I'm sorry, Soldier, but I could detect no signs that he is a Mu. He does not give off a psionic response, nor does he suffer from any of the typical Mu handicaps._

But Blue was not disappointed; instead, Leo's words sparked an indescribable rush of joy. If Leo's observations were accurate, then the situation was far better than even Blue had dared to hope. He turned away from Leo to hide the irrepressible smile that suddenly appeared on his face. "That boy is special, Leo," he said, reeling with delight. "Very special."

_May I ask why you are so interested in an ordinary Human child?_

Blue turned back to Leo and said, "I have seen a flicker of hope, and I cannot forget it." He could not bring himself to share the rest with Leo yet. "Keep monitoring him when you go back to the surface. If Universal Control makes a move for that boy, I need you to protect him, no matter what."

_Yes, sir._

Blue slowly approached Leo and looked up at him. It was odd to see how tall Leo had grown; Blue still remembered when he was small enough for him to carry. He suddenly imagined what it would be like to carry a new Ataraxian boy in his arms, to welcome him to the ship as he had Leo, all those years ago. The thought filled him with a strange longing so intense that he unwittingly raised a hand to his chest, but then he caught himself, clenched his hand into a fist and lowered it again to his side.

Even after nearly 300 years in this body, there were still emotions for which he had no name.

"Dismissed," he said, and Leo left.

oOoOoOo

Ever obedient, Leo faithfully continued observing the boy. When he came back to the ship, he shared everything he had seen with Blue—how Leo had witnessed him stumbling around in the frontyard on his unsteady toddler legs, or how he had spotted the boy and his family at the zoo one sunny afternoon, or how he'd seen the child gallivanting through the neighborhood with his friends.

Everything he had seen was there in his head, as memories, and he willingly offered them to Blue.

It was far more than Blue had asked for.

Most of the memories were made at a great distance from the boy, but there was one in particular that took Blue's breath away. Leo had purposely boarded the same bus as the boy and his father. He walked past them, then sat down across the aisle from them, pretending to read a newspaper. But every so often Leo carefully glanced up over the edge of the paper to spy on the boy.

The child was dangling his feet from the seat, which was still too big for him. He laughed at something his father had said. It was a bright, carefree laugh, and the sound of it echoed like a crystal chimes.

An announcement from the bus driver interrupted the laugh, and the boy turned to look curiously towards the front of the bus. Finding nothing of interest, he looked back towards his dad, but as his head turned, his eyes briefly lingered on Leo.

They were warm, shining eyes the color of new spring leaves in the sunlight.

Blue pulled out of the memory, blinking as he returned to the present. Seeing and hearing the child—how he had grown in just a few months!—filled him with the desperate desire to bring the boy to the Shangri-la immediately, but he knew that the boy's smile would change to tears the moment he was torn away from his parents.

Blue would do anything to protect that smile, that innocent laugh, those shining eyes—anything. Even if it would only safeguard them for a little while longer.

More than any other child Blue had ever found, he wanted this one to stay with his Human family as long as possible. He needed to enjoy a wonderful, playful childhood and then go to a normal Human school, where he would make friends and come to believe in the grand illusion the Humans of Ataraxia called "reality." The boy would be completely Human in every respect.

And then Blue would show him that he was a Mu.

All he had to do was wait. He had already waited nearly three hundred years for this child—a few more would not kill him, he hoped.

_I also took this opportunity to look up his name, _said Leo. _The boy is registered as Jomy Marcus Shin._

Blue stared into space, letting the name mesh with the mental image he had of the boy. _Jomy...Marcus...Shin. _He opened his mouth to test the sound of the name: "Jomy Marcus Shin."

_Yes, Soldier._

"Jomy. Shin." Each time he said it, his heart beat faster. This was the name of the child whose unique psionic signature Blue had sensed from the moment he was born. This was the name of the boy whose very existence had been such a shock that it sent Blue into a semi-delirious fever for days. This was the name of the biggest secret Blue had ever kept from his people.

It was a fine name—a strong name.

Jomy Marcus Shin.

He felt a chill run over him. His dream had a name; Jomy was real.

He clutched a hand to his chest, convinced his heart was aflame with longing. "Jomy," he repeated with an odd giddiness. "Jomy." He felt dizzy as the full significance of Jomy's existence hit him again.

Leo appeared at his side to steady him. _Soldier, are you alright?_

Blue brushed him off. "I'm fine. It's just such a good name."

Leo stepped back but kept watching Blue intently. _Indeed. But, Soldier, why does it mean so much to you?_

Blue managed to focus his eyes on Leo long enough to stop the room from spinning around him. "Isn't it obvious by now, Leo?"

Leo frowned and shook his head.

Blue smiled and felt the sudden sting of hot tears in the corners of his eyes. "It's a wonderful name," he explained. "The most beautiful name." Even now, he was afraid to tell Leo the truth, but then he let it out, all at once: "It's the name of the next Soldier."

Leo's eyes widened, and then he staggered backwards a step. _The next...Soldier?_

"Yes. The next Soldier."

_Soldier Blue! Why?_

Blue laughed at how wide Leo's eyes were. "I am old, Leo. I am burning out, and the Mu will eventually need a new light to guide them."

Leo still looked absolutely stunned by the revelation. _How do you know he is the one? He doesn't even seem to be a Mu!_

"I know he is a Mu. I sensed it soon after he was born. But he is not just any Mu," Blue added, and again that ache of longing in his chest returned. "I am utterly certain he is a Type Blue."

Now Leo's jaw dropped. _A Type Blue?_

"Yes. The only other Type Blue I have ever encountered in the entire history of our kind."

As he spoke, one of the threatening teardrops finally fell from Blue's eyes, streaking his right cheek. He rubbed at it with his palm and looked at the dampness on his glove with a strange detachment, but in the meantime a second tear rolled down his left cheek. He dabbed at it with his other hand, then turned away from Leo so that he wouldn't see the tears that were freely streaming from his eyes now.

After a minute, Leo asked, _You are...certain of this?_

"Completely," said Blue, collecting himself. He wiped a hand across his face once more, blinked several times to see if his eyes would be betray him again, and then turned back to Leo. "He is perfect, Leo. He lacks the weaknesses that plague the rest of us. He is Human. He will understand the Humans. And he will probably be stronger than I am, one day." He smiled slightly. "I know it's hard to believe."

Leo's brows were knit in puzzlement, but then he reached out to touch Blue's shoulder. _I—S-Soldier, _he stammered, then let go of Blue. _I will do everything in my power to protect that boy. To protect Jomy Marcus Shin._

Blue's smile broadened. "I know, Leo. That is precisely why I entrusted this mission to you."

It was all part of his greater plan. Leo would have a bigger role to play than he could possibly imagine right now. If there was anyone who could ease the transition between the current and the future leaders of the Mu, it would be young man who had served Blue so steadfastly and who would know the next Soldier longer than anyone except Blue himself.

Blue was convinced that Leo would not disappoint him.

"Jomy Marcus Shin," he murmured again, losing himself in the possibilities that name offered.

_Soldier, _said Leo.

"Yes." Blue smiled. "That is what he will be."


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Leo! I can't find my gloves!"

_Have you checked the top drawer of your dresser, Soldier?_

"No, why the hell would they be in there?"

_Because I picked them up and put them away for you last night._

"Oh."

Cid stopped in the hallway and curiously peered through the open door into Soldier Shin's quarters, where Leo and the Soldier appeared to be having a bit of a spat. Cid was mildly surprised to find that the room looked almost identical to his own. He had expected the new Soldier to have something a little more luxurious than the rest of the crew, but apparently he lived in the same quarters as everyone else.

He hadn't expected the Soldier's room to be such a mess, either. Random pieces of paper and articles of clothing littered the floor. In the midst of it all stood Leo, calmly holding up the Soldier's red cape while Jomy rummaged through a cluttered drawer looking for his lost gloves.

"Ah! Here they are!" cried Jomy with delight as he tugged them out, dropping a pair of black socks onto the floor in the process. Leo stepped forward and fastened the cape to Jomy's shoulders with practiced ease while Jomy put on his gloves.

Realizing he probably shouldn't be silently spying on the Soldier, Cid stepped forward and cleared his throat. "What's going on in here?" he asked.

Leo and Jomy both looked over their shoulders at the same time. Jomy gave him a quizzical look; Leo's face transformed into a carefully blank mask.

"Oh, hi, Cid! I'm just getting ready to leave."

_The Soldier has a meeting with the Council of Elders, and he's already five minutes late, _explained Leo pleasantly.

"I see," said Cid, still a bit taken aback by the chaotic mess surrounding them.

Jomy whirled around in a flash of red fabric. Cid moved aside automatically as the Soldier strode towards the doorway.

"Gotta run!" announced Jomy, hurrying past Cid and out into the corridor.

Leo followed him to the doorway and stopped. He gazed down the hallway after Jomy, then turned to Cid.

_How are you, Cid?_

"Good. You?"

_Busy, as you can see._

"You've definitely got your hands full with him."

Leo smiled wryly, then cast his eyes back in the direction Jomy had gone.

Cid felt a pang of jealousy, but he buried it deep down, like he always did. It was what he needed to do to keep Leo from permanently averting his eyes from him.

"Augh, Leo!" The cry emanated from the end of the hall, and a moment later Jomy came running back at full speed. "I forgot my notes!" he shouted.

Leo quickly ducked back into Jomy's room and reappeared almost immediately with a small datapad in hand.

"Thank you!" said Jomy, his face lighting up with relief. "You're the best, Leo!" He charged back in the direction he had come, cape streaming behind him.

Cid looked back at Leo, who merely sighed and shook his head a little as he watched the Soldier run off for the second time. But Cid saw something in Leo's eyes that gave him pause.

It was a look he hadn't seen in years, a type of gaze that used to be directed at only him, but was now aimed at the Soldier.

"So, Leo," he asked hesitantly. "There's nothing new going on with you?"

Leo looked at Cid. _No, why?_

Cid stared into those clear, amber eyes and wondered if in his jealousy, he was just imagining things. There was nothing there now.

But then the Soldier's voice interrupted them again. _LEO!_

Leo looked momentarily startled, but then he laughed at the sound of his name being broadcast throughout the ship by the Soldier's wild, uncontrolled telepathy.

_I'm needed elsewhere, it seems. _He gave Cid a smile, and Cid treasured it, no matter how perfunctionary it was.

But then Cid saw it again; there was no mistaking it now. There was affection in his gaze, but it was not intended for Cid.

_See you later, Cid._

"Later, Leo," he mumbled as he watched Leo hurry down the hall to save his Soldier from whatever troubles had befallen him now.

Cid had not seen Leo's eyes shine so brightly in a long time.

With a sigh, Cid continued down the hall at his own, much slower pace and wondered if Jomy knew just how lucky he was to have Leo chasing after him.


End file.
